Le Chemin Oublie. ( The Forgotten Path)

Blogging certainly hasn’t been on my list of priorities lately! I went home in July after never really telling the whole story of what’s gone on. But life moves fast it seems. I returned home on July 18th without ever really updating my adventures here. I suppose I will tell the stories in a Star Wars movie episode fashion. Forward, backwards, and all over the place. What may truly matter in the end is telling the stories at all. My photo gallery serves as proof of days lived and memories made. Time and task. I am thankful for that! For writing often must take the backseat as I push forward. Never what I intend but a constant. This has been a rather full summer. Many miles traveled. Here and back home. And those that connected the dots of a roving me. So we must fast forward to the present. No longer July but well into August. So very much has transpired and the world moved on whether I told my stories or not. I am small and humbled in that realization.

A portion of July back home.

Let’s fast forward past my time back home in July into August. I returned here to Camp Sparrow Song August 12th. I had been home about 3 weeks. Upon returning I set out to fish the big lake here again but it was rather tough for me. Wind and waves were a problem. I decided to fish a set of rapids below a dam close to here last week on Thursday. I was tired of my struggles on the big lake and needed a break. I had good luck and my confidence was renewed. So much that I decided to pack up my canoe and camping gear for a couple days away. There was a big music festival in town close by and I really didn’t want to be part of it. So off to the ZEC Restigo Gracie and I went Friday afternoon. I chose a remote lake that we had paddled back in July. Lac Goeland. The two days I spent there are worthy of their own story. Camping out of the truck in a tent and fishing were the main activities. Solitude on my first ever camping trip in the bush in a tent.

Since my return I have fished with a couple neighbors and have enjoyed some success. Yes you guessed it! Another story! Today I decided a hike was in order for a change. I have been curious about a set of rapids in the Kipawa River near Brennan Lake. Brennan Lake is a rather large lake within the ZEC Restigo boundaries. I had paddled Brennan Lake back in July but didn’t get to explore the river. I have wanted to see the rapids as they are listed as a point of interest on the ZEC Restigo map. A roughly 5Km trail leads to you to the falls according to the map. Sounds easy right? Sure it’s 6 miles round trip but that’s doable. The weather was good for hiking. Mid 70’s and somewhat cloudy. Plus the bugs haven’t been bad lately. So it was on once I secured my ZEC permit at the office where Highway 819 begins just outside of town here.

Mapping it out.

There wasn’t a wealth of information on the trailhead but I found something after Goggling it. And after my time here I was tuned in to the landmarks they mentioned. So up the 819 I went around 11am. It took me awhile to get to where the trailhead was supposed to be. It appeared to be off an old logging road that I found without too much trouble. The logging road was dry and pretty brush free. Not something that I encounter here when I explore. But after heading down the logging road I found no trailhead. I studied my map and phone app. My GAIA app is indispensable in the back bush. It shows my GPS location at all times. No cellular phone service needed. But where was the trailhead? No markers. No signs. Nothing.

There was however, an old beat up travel trailer sitting in a small clearing with a possible trail behind it. I guessed it a simple hunting trail when I first scouted it. It was rather overgrown and couldn’t possibly be the trail that was marked on the ZEC map. I drove back and forth searching for the trail with no luck. I finally decided to follow the trail behind the beat up travel trailer sitting in the clearing. I guessed that I was on a wild goose chase just following some moose hunters trail. But I was out of options and I had pounded dusty, rough roads to get to my destination. I wasn’t ready to quit that easy.

Easy street?
Blaze away. It’s the way out.

Once I started down the trail behind the old camper I decided that I was in the right place after all . I was obviously following an old logging road. It was molded and leveled. No question about it then but it was pretty overgrown. However, someone had taken time to cut some of the hanging brush back with a chainsaw. I was carrying an axe and began laying tree blazes behind me. Something I had read about years ago from back bush trappers. I also found pieces of survey ribbon laying around. I stuck some in my pocket and marked the trail occasionally. Getting lost here would be very bad!

Blazing it in.

The trail was pretty rough walking but ok. There were plenty of overhanging tag alders choking the trail. I broke off smaller ones leaving an obvious trail behind me. I also turned around and studied the terrain behind me. Always a good idea. I kept hanging survey ribbon pieces in strategic locations. I wanted a clear path out! Some sections were nice walking. Rather open but others were tough with waist plus berry bushes choking the path. But I was ok. I got to thinking that everything was good. The old logging road was obvious. No getting lost while following its signature through the bush. The bush is very alive and thriving. Noteworthy.

I reached a beaver meadow. Once the site of a huge pond it appeared. The berry bushes and jewel weeds were unbelievably high. And the bugs found me then. Deer flies and mosquitoes liking my sweat and heavy breathing as I soldiered through. I began to question the adventure then. This was ok but 3 miles of it? I was expending lots of energy. Gracie too. I lost her for a moment suddenly. She wasn’t behind me and couldn’t hear her. I yelled and became very worried when there was no sound. Losing her here would be very bad. But suddenly I heard her rustling through the dense berry bushes. This was becoming a bit hellish. My shirt was soaked with sweat and my legs were getting scratched bad. Shorts had seemed like a good choice. Not so much now I mused.

And then the unexpected happened. While wading through waist high berry bushes the ground below my feet disappeared and I tumbled forward. The old logging road had washed out and there was a huge gulley. I survived my tumble intact but suddenly realized that this was a less to be desired trail. No one had been through it in sometime. I guess it’s not a popular destination reaching the falls.

After my fall I found my way out to the open space of the former beaver pond. Vegetation was lighter there so it was easier walking until I hit a muddy section. Gracie took a dip in a weedy pool. She was struggling and I could tell. Old age has its disadvantages I suppose. There were moose tracks in the mud and I had seen moose droppings along the trail. They were smart. Taking the path of least resistance. They don’t worry about getting lost I suppose.

After the beaver damaged section the trail played out. The chainsaw and axe wielding trail stewards had given up it appeared. The trail just stopped. Yes the old logging continued but it was so overwhelmingly overgrown that it was pure folly to keep following it. I was hot and scratched up from the berry bushes. It was a defining moment. Persist and push forward? Reality ruled the day. Based on my GPS app, I had only covered about one mile of a three mile hike. To continue would be ill advised. Common sense kicked in despite my disappointment of failing my objective. It wasn’t easy to do in some ways. But there was a sense of relief in the concession. This was no place to mess around.

The best parts of the trail.

I was disappointed to not make it to the Turner Falls. But the maps had indicated a trail. I had counted on a herd path. Who knew? And I certainly gained more respect for the bush. It is hellbent to return to its natural state. And I respect the power that lives there. I’m weak in the face of that power. Frail and vulnerable. And there’s a lesson there that I thought I had learned. But the lands of the valley where I have spent most of my life are very different. The Quebec bush is a much different place. So tonight I count my good fortune and wear my scratches with a certain sense of pride. I earned them today. They will heal and my internal turmoil heals in the doing of such adventures. I wouldn’t have it any other way I suppose. And BTW. Maybe reaching the Turner Chute, aka the Turner Falls by water might not be such a bad idea. I am a stubborn one at times. And I had reasons for torturing myself today. That’s all on me. It’s what I wanted. And I got what I wanted. The universe spins in mysterious ways.✍️

Milestones

Yesterday was a special day! A trip to the DMV with Zane’s credentials would see him leave with his learners permit. He had dragged his feet since his birthday November 2nd. He hadn’t done the research that I requested he present to me once he’d completed it. I had simply said to him that I wasn’t the one needing my license to drive. That he needed to do some of the work. He finally stepped up and asked me to help him. So I helped him get an appointment set up. Everything to do with public places has gotten complicated in the past 10 months.Getting a learners permit is no exception.Zane began to study for the 20 question test he’d need to pass to secure his permit. He asked me numerous questions and I realized that I couldn’t even answer some correctly! Me a driver of some 42 years!We filled out the forms and presented them. Consent form for me and the permit paperwork for him. Zane is an individual blessed with two middle names although I don’t think he fully understands why I insisted he be given them. His first middle name is Alvin after my grandfather Washburn. His second James after my father. I knew on the day of his birth that he would be my only son. I chose to honor the names of my father and grandfather. Zane passed his eye exam and proceeded to the computer to take his written test. We had studied together on the drive to Gouverneur and I felt he was ready. He settled in behind a barrier and began the test. I wanted patiently at first for him to complete it. My patience began to waver though as the minutes passed. My thoughts began to spin out of control! What’s taking so long?Oh no he doesn’t know the answers!This is bad! What happens if he fails?My energy was wasted on such thoughts for he suddenly appeared from behind the barrier! His smiling face said it all! Success! A score of 17 out of 20!What a relief! Then the next step of payment for everything.In New York there’s not much that’s free!But Zane’s happy face as we left was priceless. In the truck on the way to the farm we discussed what would come next. Eventually the conversation would turn to me. Zane was curious about my driving history. I told him that I could remember nothing of the day that I got my learners permit. What I did remember was that I must have gotten it fairly quickly after my August 26 birthday. I remembered practicing through the fall months occasionally with my father patiently ( mostly!) sitting in the passenger seat. We practiced mostly after dark it seems to me now. I had already learned to drive at 15 anyway. My father taught me on the frozen surface of Black Lake while ice fishing one Saturday in the winter of 1978. What better place to learn I realize now. Wide open spaces with nothing to hit on the expanses of frozen lake. I learned to drive a standard shift Ford F-150 Custom truck with “ three on the tree”. I mastered the clutch after a few jerky starts. Driving using a clutch wasn’t foreign to me. I had been driving tractor on the farm since I was 12! Not just a tractor but with a baler and wagon behind. Making turns was easy for me. I took my road test in December after my August birthday just before Christmas break. My dad worked construction so my Uncle Arthur who farmed with his brother Charlie just up the road agreed to take me. What a day! A big snowstorm the night before my road test would leave the streets of Gouverneur icy and make for tricky driving! My father had decided that I would road test with the standard shift truck. We had a big boat of a car in the garage but it’s automatic transmission was not meant for my destiny. I was nervous and jittery as the road test driver climbed into the truck with me!He instructed me to head out and I followed his instructions. Turn left here! Turn right here then take the next left. Numerous intersections and stop signs. But I feathered the clutch with practiced ease despite my nervousness. Things were going great it appeared!It wasn’t until I was instructed to do my three point turn that things took a horrible turn! No pun intended! I got through the first two portions of the drill fine but as I worked the clutch pedal through the final turn my foot slipped off the wet pedal and became trapped between it and the brake pedal. There was no freeing it and the next stop sign was approaching quickly! Decision time! A quick glance at my tester revealed that he hadn’t noticed! I couldn’t take my right foot off the gas without risking a stall however should I try and press the brake pedal the distance it would take to free my left foot! Can you picture my dilemma? I did the unthinkable! I bent over and used my hand to free my foot all while moving forward! The tester said nothing. He directed me through even more stops and turns. I was in shock beyond nervousness and obeyed his many commands. Finally the moment of all moments! My tester would give me the ultimate challenge! He ordered me to parallel park between two plowed in cars! I failed on my first attempt but made my way mostly in through the deep snow. He ordered me to try again. I did better but still failed to get close to the invisible curb. We returned to the starting point and it was over. I croaked a timid question. “ Did I pass”? His response was flat with no emotion whatsoever. “You will be notified”. I climbed out of the truck with a sunken feeling . Embarrassed to tell my Uncle of my obvious failure. But fate is fickle sometimes and imagine my surprise when I received my license in the mail while on Christmas vacation! I was shocked to say the least! How had I managed to pass after the clutch pedal episode? Who knows?I certainly never will all these many years later. Those memories came flooding back yesterday across the decades. I have driven numerous standard shifts since that day and never have repeated that mistake. I’ve driven thousands of miles in the past 42 years. I have stories of blizzards and ice storms. Stupid mistakes and dumb decisions. Zane asked me how could I make it look so easy when he felt a little overwhelmed. “Practice. You will get there and I will help you”. We talked of the milestones of life after that. Those that he has reached and those that await. I have reached many of society’s milestones at this point in my life. Those I still seek are a construct of my own mind. I ask myself will I pass those next fateful tests?How can I prepare for those tests?It seems we are tested often and with no chance to prepare. What will I do when my foot slips off the proverbial clutch pedal? I will do what I have always done. Keep my foot on the gas, reach down, and free myself. Keep moving forward even when I feel like I have failed the test. I’ll be out on the road a lot with Zane these next 6 months before he takes a road test. Teaching and learning at the same time. He works to achieve his next great milestone. As do I.