April 23rd. Life here at the cottage at Black Lake has been a little chilly lately! It seems that spring has stalled out for the moment!Not in the calendar sense but certainly in a weather sense. The cottage is small and I needed to declutter the place we now call Camp Chaos. The warm weather around the ninth of April lured me into a false and foolhardy place of security. I packed up my winter clothes and jackets. Moved them to the storage conex at the farm. Pulled out totes of shorts,swimwear, and water shoes. The weather turned in a fickle twist of fate. The warm, sunny days turned cool and cloudy. Rain and gray skies. The winds blew and the lake outside Camp Chaos rolled with dark and ominous waves. Cold in all manner of vocabulary and totally uninviting. The pellet stove that heats the camp didn’t stand a chance against the north born arctic winds that plagued us during sugaring season. The pellet stove ran 24/7 and demands a constant daily infusion of fuel. I modified my daily tasks and focused on a hand written list on my kitchen counter of things that I needed to accomplish.It numbered 35 items and I placed a Hi-Lighter next to it intending to attack it with coffee fueled vigor. But progress has been slow and despite my efforts the list still numbers 15. Yes I added a few things along the way but nothing serious. Mornings find me stalled out sometimes.As stalled out as these days of spring. Where does the energy go sometimes? Or the time? Such thoughts are as deep and mysterious as an unknown body of water we venture out upon. They keep me up late and wake me early. It came to me last night well before dawn. The pellet stove’s steady rumble of white noise had lulled me into sleep at some point. I don’t keep a clock nearby to remind me of the time these days. I try to sync with the natural order a non-nocturnal species. Gone are the days of morning commutes. Packing lunches and racing off to a busy day.Afternoon commutes home. Also gone was all the snow and frozen waterways. I suddenly realized that nothing had truly stalled but my attitude. The trees were still growing their leaves. Wild flowers still poked their heads up despite their blanket of recent snow. Nothing was stalled. Nature hadn’t. All the season had done was slow down a little. I then realized that perhaps what I had begun to perceive as a stalling out was not failure but simply a slowing of energy. I sip my morning coffee today with a fresh mindset. The energy I seek still surrounds me in nature. I will head out the door today searching for connections in nature. I won’t pressure myself to find words to describe this journey of spirit. They must arrive as a free flowing energy. What’s been the problem here? This seemingly lack of words and a stalled out mental engine of creativity?The silent and blank pages of a blog site recently?Nothing is truly blank. My stories live in my blog description. Connections with nature. Here lies your ultimate discovery. And mine. We control what we can and must adapt to everything else. Nature teaches us that. So today I won’t worry about the cool temperatures and cloudy skies. I’ll dig out winter clothes and quit whining about the stalled out spring. I will look for the power and magic of nature. Strutting turkeys and feeding whitetail embracing a new day of survival. Busy beaver and nest building birds. They took the stalled out spring as just another series of days. It’s a positive way to start any day I feel. Energy flows like waves. It takes the winds of change to stir them up sometimes. Things have indeed changed immensely these past few months. For the better. I seek to present a real time story of life. Not edited with false illusions of positivity and a perfect life. Instead a portrayal of something very real and honest. Perhaps the readers will find themselves in these passages of a real and ongoing journey of survival. That is the writer’s goal. To share emotion and passion. To make you feel something and take you somewhere. Your journey so very different than mine but maybe containing similarities. I can’t tell you everything but I can tell you something more. I dedicate this page and post to all who struggled yesterday and will struggle today. Health issues.Cancer. Indecision and choices that must be made. Employment and financial issues. I know far too many in these circles I travel who need our prayers of positivity. My blessings are many and I humbly acknowledge my good fortune. May all find peace today. It’s time to rise with the invisible sun.
