Yesterday was a special day! A trip to the DMV with Zane’s credentials would see him leave with his learners permit. He had dragged his feet since his birthday November 2nd. He hadn’t done the research that I requested he present to me once he’d completed it. I had simply said to him that I wasn’t the one needing my license to drive. That he needed to do some of the work. He finally stepped up and asked me to help him. So I helped him get an appointment set up. Everything to do with public places has gotten complicated in the past 10 months.Getting a learners permit is no exception.Zane began to study for the 20 question test he’d need to pass to secure his permit. He asked me numerous questions and I realized that I couldn’t even answer some correctly! Me a driver of some 42 years!We filled out the forms and presented them. Consent form for me and the permit paperwork for him. Zane is an individual blessed with two middle names although I don’t think he fully understands why I insisted he be given them. His first middle name is Alvin after my grandfather Washburn. His second James after my father. I knew on the day of his birth that he would be my only son. I chose to honor the names of my father and grandfather. Zane passed his eye exam and proceeded to the computer to take his written test. We had studied together on the drive to Gouverneur and I felt he was ready. He settled in behind a barrier and began the test. I wanted patiently at first for him to complete it. My patience began to waver though as the minutes passed. My thoughts began to spin out of control! What’s taking so long?Oh no he doesn’t know the answers!This is bad! What happens if he fails?My energy was wasted on such thoughts for he suddenly appeared from behind the barrier! His smiling face said it all! Success! A score of 17 out of 20!What a relief! Then the next step of payment for everything.In New York there’s not much that’s free!But Zane’s happy face as we left was priceless. In the truck on the way to the farm we discussed what would come next. Eventually the conversation would turn to me. Zane was curious about my driving history. I told him that I could remember nothing of the day that I got my learners permit. What I did remember was that I must have gotten it fairly quickly after my August 26 birthday. I remembered practicing through the fall months occasionally with my father patiently ( mostly!) sitting in the passenger seat. We practiced mostly after dark it seems to me now. I had already learned to drive at 15 anyway. My father taught me on the frozen surface of Black Lake while ice fishing one Saturday in the winter of 1978. What better place to learn I realize now. Wide open spaces with nothing to hit on the expanses of frozen lake. I learned to drive a standard shift Ford F-150 Custom truck with “ three on the tree”. I mastered the clutch after a few jerky starts. Driving using a clutch wasn’t foreign to me. I had been driving tractor on the farm since I was 12! Not just a tractor but with a baler and wagon behind. Making turns was easy for me. I took my road test in December after my August birthday just before Christmas break. My dad worked construction so my Uncle Arthur who farmed with his brother Charlie just up the road agreed to take me. What a day! A big snowstorm the night before my road test would leave the streets of Gouverneur icy and make for tricky driving! My father had decided that I would road test with the standard shift truck. We had a big boat of a car in the garage but it’s automatic transmission was not meant for my destiny. I was nervous and jittery as the road test driver climbed into the truck with me!He instructed me to head out and I followed his instructions. Turn left here! Turn right here then take the next left. Numerous intersections and stop signs. But I feathered the clutch with practiced ease despite my nervousness. Things were going great it appeared!It wasn’t until I was instructed to do my three point turn that things took a horrible turn! No pun intended! I got through the first two portions of the drill fine but as I worked the clutch pedal through the final turn my foot slipped off the wet pedal and became trapped between it and the brake pedal. There was no freeing it and the next stop sign was approaching quickly! Decision time! A quick glance at my tester revealed that he hadn’t noticed! I couldn’t take my right foot off the gas without risking a stall however should I try and press the brake pedal the distance it would take to free my left foot! Can you picture my dilemma? I did the unthinkable! I bent over and used my hand to free my foot all while moving forward! The tester said nothing. He directed me through even more stops and turns. I was in shock beyond nervousness and obeyed his many commands. Finally the moment of all moments! My tester would give me the ultimate challenge! He ordered me to parallel park between two plowed in cars! I failed on my first attempt but made my way mostly in through the deep snow. He ordered me to try again. I did better but still failed to get close to the invisible curb. We returned to the starting point and it was over. I croaked a timid question. “ Did I pass”? His response was flat with no emotion whatsoever. “You will be notified”. I climbed out of the truck with a sunken feeling . Embarrassed to tell my Uncle of my obvious failure. But fate is fickle sometimes and imagine my surprise when I received my license in the mail while on Christmas vacation! I was shocked to say the least! How had I managed to pass after the clutch pedal episode? Who knows?I certainly never will all these many years later. Those memories came flooding back yesterday across the decades. I have driven numerous standard shifts since that day and never have repeated that mistake. I’ve driven thousands of miles in the past 42 years. I have stories of blizzards and ice storms. Stupid mistakes and dumb decisions. Zane asked me how could I make it look so easy when he felt a little overwhelmed. “Practice. You will get there and I will help you”. We talked of the milestones of life after that. Those that he has reached and those that await. I have reached many of society’s milestones at this point in my life. Those I still seek are a construct of my own mind. I ask myself will I pass those next fateful tests?How can I prepare for those tests?It seems we are tested often and with no chance to prepare. What will I do when my foot slips off the proverbial clutch pedal? I will do what I have always done. Keep my foot on the gas, reach down, and free myself. Keep moving forward even when I feel like I have failed the test. I’ll be out on the road a lot with Zane these next 6 months before he takes a road test. Teaching and learning at the same time. He works to achieve his next great milestone. As do I.
