Milestones

Yesterday was a special day! A trip to the DMV with Zane’s credentials would see him leave with his learners permit. He had dragged his feet since his birthday November 2nd. He hadn’t done the research that I requested he present to me once he’d completed it. I had simply said to him that I wasn’t the one needing my license to drive. That he needed to do some of the work. He finally stepped up and asked me to help him. So I helped him get an appointment set up. Everything to do with public places has gotten complicated in the past 10 months.Getting a learners permit is no exception.Zane began to study for the 20 question test he’d need to pass to secure his permit. He asked me numerous questions and I realized that I couldn’t even answer some correctly! Me a driver of some 42 years!We filled out the forms and presented them. Consent form for me and the permit paperwork for him. Zane is an individual blessed with two middle names although I don’t think he fully understands why I insisted he be given them. His first middle name is Alvin after my grandfather Washburn. His second James after my father. I knew on the day of his birth that he would be my only son. I chose to honor the names of my father and grandfather. Zane passed his eye exam and proceeded to the computer to take his written test. We had studied together on the drive to Gouverneur and I felt he was ready. He settled in behind a barrier and began the test. I wanted patiently at first for him to complete it. My patience began to waver though as the minutes passed. My thoughts began to spin out of control! What’s taking so long?Oh no he doesn’t know the answers!This is bad! What happens if he fails?My energy was wasted on such thoughts for he suddenly appeared from behind the barrier! His smiling face said it all! Success! A score of 17 out of 20!What a relief! Then the next step of payment for everything.In New York there’s not much that’s free!But Zane’s happy face as we left was priceless. In the truck on the way to the farm we discussed what would come next. Eventually the conversation would turn to me. Zane was curious about my driving history. I told him that I could remember nothing of the day that I got my learners permit. What I did remember was that I must have gotten it fairly quickly after my August 26 birthday. I remembered practicing through the fall months occasionally with my father patiently ( mostly!) sitting in the passenger seat. We practiced mostly after dark it seems to me now. I had already learned to drive at 15 anyway. My father taught me on the frozen surface of Black Lake while ice fishing one Saturday in the winter of 1978. What better place to learn I realize now. Wide open spaces with nothing to hit on the expanses of frozen lake. I learned to drive a standard shift Ford F-150 Custom truck with “ three on the tree”. I mastered the clutch after a few jerky starts. Driving using a clutch wasn’t foreign to me. I had been driving tractor on the farm since I was 12! Not just a tractor but with a baler and wagon behind. Making turns was easy for me. I took my road test in December after my August birthday just before Christmas break. My dad worked construction so my Uncle Arthur who farmed with his brother Charlie just up the road agreed to take me. What a day! A big snowstorm the night before my road test would leave the streets of Gouverneur icy and make for tricky driving! My father had decided that I would road test with the standard shift truck. We had a big boat of a car in the garage but it’s automatic transmission was not meant for my destiny. I was nervous and jittery as the road test driver climbed into the truck with me!He instructed me to head out and I followed his instructions. Turn left here! Turn right here then take the next left. Numerous intersections and stop signs. But I feathered the clutch with practiced ease despite my nervousness. Things were going great it appeared!It wasn’t until I was instructed to do my three point turn that things took a horrible turn! No pun intended! I got through the first two portions of the drill fine but as I worked the clutch pedal through the final turn my foot slipped off the wet pedal and became trapped between it and the brake pedal. There was no freeing it and the next stop sign was approaching quickly! Decision time! A quick glance at my tester revealed that he hadn’t noticed! I couldn’t take my right foot off the gas without risking a stall however should I try and press the brake pedal the distance it would take to free my left foot! Can you picture my dilemma? I did the unthinkable! I bent over and used my hand to free my foot all while moving forward! The tester said nothing. He directed me through even more stops and turns. I was in shock beyond nervousness and obeyed his many commands. Finally the moment of all moments! My tester would give me the ultimate challenge! He ordered me to parallel park between two plowed in cars! I failed on my first attempt but made my way mostly in through the deep snow. He ordered me to try again. I did better but still failed to get close to the invisible curb. We returned to the starting point and it was over. I croaked a timid question. “ Did I pass”? His response was flat with no emotion whatsoever. “You will be notified”. I climbed out of the truck with a sunken feeling . Embarrassed to tell my Uncle of my obvious failure. But fate is fickle sometimes and imagine my surprise when I received my license in the mail while on Christmas vacation! I was shocked to say the least! How had I managed to pass after the clutch pedal episode? Who knows?I certainly never will all these many years later. Those memories came flooding back yesterday across the decades. I have driven numerous standard shifts since that day and never have repeated that mistake. I’ve driven thousands of miles in the past 42 years. I have stories of blizzards and ice storms. Stupid mistakes and dumb decisions. Zane asked me how could I make it look so easy when he felt a little overwhelmed. “Practice. You will get there and I will help you”. We talked of the milestones of life after that. Those that he has reached and those that await. I have reached many of society’s milestones at this point in my life. Those I still seek are a construct of my own mind. I ask myself will I pass those next fateful tests?How can I prepare for those tests?It seems we are tested often and with no chance to prepare. What will I do when my foot slips off the proverbial clutch pedal? I will do what I have always done. Keep my foot on the gas, reach down, and free myself. Keep moving forward even when I feel like I have failed the test. I’ll be out on the road a lot with Zane these next 6 months before he takes a road test. Teaching and learning at the same time. He works to achieve his next great milestone. As do I.

The Sum of All Totals

Winter weather still continues to drag its feet so yesterday we decided to take advantage of the lack of snow and grab a mini adventure. I asked Zane if he was interested in exploring the Eastern side of the Beaver Creek gorge near our farm.It’s 3664 acres of state land provide some rugged terrain to explore. There’s little of that acreage that I haven’t explored in the last 4 decades at some point. It’s always been a wonderful place to observe nature. A mix of forest,bare rock outcroppings,and extensive wetlands. Numerous beaver ponds along the actual creek channel and along the small watersheds that feed it. There’s large ledges and deep valleys to cross. It’s difficult to cross the main creek if not impossible in the months other than winter. Occasionally there’s a beaver dam that spans the gorge but those are usually not readily available. We typically explore the Eastern side when “ice walking” becomes available. It’s about timing unless we decide on a snowshoe trek. That’s rarely been the case in recent years. I gauge the weather conditions and make a spontaneous decision to hike it on foot when snow doesn’t hinder our distance.Yesterday I wasn’t sure the main creek had adequate ice thickness to safely hike the wetlands so we took an overland route that kept us on solid ground. We soon found ourselves fighting thick patches of invasive wild honeysuckle. Mixed with “whip brush” and the riddled stands of Scotch pine the state planted over 50 years ago. The Scotch pine never did well as the rocky ridges and fallen rock piles supported numerous porcupines.They developed a fondness for the planted groves and girdled them until they wiped out most of the transplants. The few surviving pines have an alien appearance. Short and stunted they bear the scars left by the porcupines who still continue to further their demise.I mentioned to Zane that it’s too bad they don’t relish the invasives!That sure would make things better for those fighting their way through the brush. Ultimately the brush would prompt us to take to the ice and marshy sections in the lower sections below the ridges where beaver had altered the landscape.The ice is still tricky and it takes some maneuvering to dodge the thin spots.These beaver ponds didn’t exist when I was a boy but the beaver populations have continued to expand since then. They found their way into every trickle and created some new sections of wetland. It’s a cycle that rotates. They move in and create a pond sometimes making it larger each year. Eventually they diminish the availability of feed and move to a new location.The dams eventually rot in disrepair and the water drops. The open area of the pond ( known as a beaver meadow) begins to revert back to a forest or grassland. We crossed a number of active and dead beaver ponds. It was much better walking on the sections of creek and pond ice. Lesson number two of the day for Zane!Lesson one was deciding whether the ice would support us at all. It’s a decision an “ice walker” must weigh heavily or risk a soaking.We managed to stay dry and eventually would be able to get up into some older open growth forest where walking was better. Our destination was an area well known to me since a boy. The Black Ash Swamp.We hit a beaver pond above it first. Also well known to me,I was pleased to notice that it was occupied. The ice was well formed so I suggested to Zane we wear our micro spikes as I intended to keep us on the ice as long as possible. The pond we crossed joined the upper end of our destination just beyond a small overflow. There it was! The Black Ash Swamp.It’s an area that has seen a huge transformation since I was a boy.It’s former brush and the trees that bore its name gone now. Only a few small stumps protrude through the ice. It reassembles a small,shallow lake these days. A product of the beaver and their work of decades.They had first moved into the swamp in the seventies and began flooding the forest.The higher water eventually killed even the moisture resistant black ash trees.The beaver no doubt cut many of them also for their tasty bark.For many years the dead trees stood like skeletons.Gray and bark shed I had walked the ice between them witnessing the transition over a period of years. Rot and wind have broken them down now. I stood on the edge of the former swamp forest and let the memories travel over those years. My father had brought me here when a large stand of hemlocks graced the the higher ground above the swamp. There was a light layer of powder snow that cold,cloudy winter day. We’d come to the swamp for a reason that day!To run our beagle/basset hounds on snowshoe rabbit. The cottontail rabbits of our pasture land had a habit of diving into woodchuck holes and cutting the dogs short of a worthy pursuit. Not so with the large, bounding snowshoe rabbit! They stay afield and easily avoid the much slower hounds. The dogs Snoopy and Hushpuppy jumped a snowshoe in the edge of the swamp that day and gave chase with excited bellows! They sped off after their quarry and would soon get some distance from us. I was the eager boy who wished to run after them! “Stop”We’ll sit here in the hemlocks” my father would quietly say. “But the dogs are getting away!” I replied. “Sit still and wait!Watch closely and you will learn something of the snowshoe rabbit” my father replied.It was cold and I had no wish to sit but did as I was instructed. Glad to have my warm wool pants and wool mittens inside my leather choppers mitts. The collar of my wool hunting jacket hand stitched with a band of cotton flannel by my grandmother’s loving hands.She knew I hated the wool touching my neck so had done it for me.The cold air stung my face and I listened to the distance dogs. Their sounds suddenly seemed closer and they began to return our way. Still on a hot track and moving quickly! I was busy trying to spot the dogs when my father pointed silently. Far ahead of the hounds the ghostly, white snowshoe rabbit was moving directly towards our position. My observations were cut short as my fathers 12 gauge fired once from his position. I was instructed to retrieve the rabbit from the ground but wait for the dogs. They reached me soon after and we let them sniff the rabbit they had brought to us. A tasty meal back home awaited us with scraps and fur for the dogs. I had learned a valuable lesson! The jumped snowshoe will circle and retrace his steps. The hunter must wait and watch. We would only take the one rabbit that day. It was enough and we had the long walk back to the truck. Barn chores and a wood furnace to stoke. As I stood on the edge of the swamp yesterday I pondered the passage of time. My father gone but my own son beside me. The hounds long buried in a special location on the farm. Carefully laid to rest in graves I dug after carrying them some distance in my arms. I no longer have hounds or hunt rabbits. But I still wander the lands of my youth. I show my son my special places and tell the tales. I watch the forests and wetlands change in the seasons of nature. The spirit energy finds me there with positive blessings. Not lost for it is eternal. The years add quicker and I realize that someday I will circle back to where I started my chase of years. To retrace my steps and serve a higher purpose perhaps. If time is the rabbit then I am the hound. Such thoughts are best kept for winter nights long after dark. It was time to keep exploring. There was too much to be found in the moment yesterday to stand still for long. There were things to teach and lessons to be learned. Miles to walk with an ice walkers stride. The distance traveled in must be traveled out.

Tracks

Time sure has a way of speeding past during the holidays!Today finds us one week into the official winter season already!We were unable to view the the planetary alignment last Monday on winter solstice due to cloudy skies. In fact it’s been very cloudy much of the time lately.Darkness seems pervasive and almost overwhelming at times in the days leading up to winter solstice.Also in the days that follow.I find it best to plan activities accordingly. If I fail to get moving in the morning I find myself cutting my outdoor activities short most days.Far different than the days of summer where my energy will be depleted well before the sun sets! The recent weather has cycled in a pattern that never truly enters winter. Very little snow and lots of rain. The absence of snow postpones our winter plans somewhat.There’s no doubt winter will arrive in earnest at some future date. We desired some post Xmas hiking since there was almost no snow.We made our plans. Got in touch with our friends who would join us. It was all set!Nature decided a few changes were in order!A surprise snow storm would dump several inches of powder in just a few hours.Not enough for snowshoes or skis but more than we would typically hike through. We decided to hike regardless. We chose a trail system near home as travel time in December eats daylight. This trail system is called the Grand Reserve. It’s part of a local conservancy known as Indian River Lakes Conservancy.IRLC for short. It was created just over 20 years ago by a small group of dedicated individuals who desired to build a legacy of preservation. Through acquisitions and donated parcels they’ve grown to over 2200 acres of protected lands and watersheds. They have a small full time staff and groups of volunteers who assist with trail stewardship, summer children’s programs, and educational seminars. I will showcase them further in a future post. Our family has been affiliated with them since 2018 so we have some interesting stories to share!Our friends weren’t familiar with the trail system so we wanted to introduce them to the location. A party of six people and two dogs would constitute our group.As we entered the trail after parking our vehicles we realized someone else had been there ahead of us. A person most certainly from the tracks in the fairly recent snow but others as well! Enter my special winter hobby of years! The study of tracks in snow!It’s a fascinating outdoor activity for me! It’s a bonus of winter treks especially on fresh snow. I become the detective and look for clues .Who is living in these woods?What are their activities? How many different species can I identify? Will I guess correctly and piece together the stories of the animals who inhabit this winter habitat? The birds as well. Their story much more difficult to unravel.The tracks will confuse at times but never lie. Those who leave them have no need to cover them up. Their’s is the business of survival.Winter brings challenge and struggle. Danger for some and advantage for others. Studying tracks brings me into a state of “ mental painting”. Picturing the event that has been left for me to decipher. It draws me deep into a place of quiet reflection at times. Beneficial and relaxing in its simplicity.Tracks are a gift of winter snow. Each thaw or storm to reset the canvas.A fresh set of stories to be gathered and recorded. I knew beforehand what tracks we might expect to find. I would not be wrong with my predictions. We spotted the tracks of numerous gray squirrels.Groups of cloven footed deer on the move.Porcupines whose distinctive waddle makes them easy to identify. Their tracks originating in the the fallen rocks of cliffs where they den up and then forking off to their feeding trees. The bare bark of girdled trees as obvious as their tracks. There was one set of tracks I had to guess at however. They belonged to either a large weasel or small mink. They entered the base of a hollow log and exited further towards the top. A well known habit of theirs. As is their hopping nature which gives their tracks a certain signature. This was the extent of the tracks we would find in the forest. It wasn’t until we reached the shore of Grass Lake that things would change. I had mentioned my desire of getting close to the thin ice of the lake to my son Zane. I hoped we’d be rewarded with the tracks of a water dwelling mammal.We’d spot nothing at first as we stood on the shore of the lake. But I suddenly spotted an abnormal spot in the ice. Falling snow collects in the water and freezes into a gray layer I call “snow ice”. There was a section of snow ice that had obviously been broken by something. It had refrozen into clear black ice. I carefully studied the evidence before me. “A beaver did this” I said to Zane. It had poked its head through the thin snow ice but had not come ashore. I turned to the right to study the swamp beyond us and there sat the beaver! On top and feeding some distance away! I felt a sense of accomplishment in that moment!I had guessed correctly! The presence of the beaver confirmed my observation. Darkness was approaching and we’d need to cut our hike short. But our first outing on winter snow studying tracks was successful!It gets me fired up and ready to return after the next snowfall. I’ve spent many happy hours studying winter tracks.There are many tales to tell! The tracks didn’t lie. I don’t either.

Colossus

Yesterday was our annual trip to a local tree farm to cut our Xmas trees. One for Zane and I at Hill House. One for Jennifer and her daughter Kelsey at their house. Jennifer’s nephew Garrett gets included in both houses for a double dip of Xmas fun! As we wandered the tree farm the inevitable affliction we named Tree Cutting Conundrum Syndrome would strike us with an onslaught of symptoms! These include sweaty palms, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and an over all state of panic! What causes TCCS? The desire to find a perfect tree! That one tree in the forest of hundreds desire! That wandering aimlessly,not settling, and stubborn need to get that perfect tree!!Kelsey was chosen to pick out their tree which she succeeded in doing by the time we had reached the back forty of the tree farm. She seemed largely immune to TCCS. A benefit of living in California for the last few years perhaps?Zane was in charge of finding our tree. He too seemed rather symptom free. I had mentioned that we could have a larger tree this year. I was stricken badly with a case of TCCS! I pointed out a few possible trees to him but he declined them. “I know the one I want Dad! It’s near the entrance to the field.We exited the back forest with Jennifer and Kelsey’s tree over my shoulder. A small, nicely shaped fragrant white spruce. Zane had trouble locating his tree upon our return to the start of our foray. We searched for awhile until he found it. I was expecting to see an average sized tree. When I saw him gazing up with unbridled enthusiasm at a white spruce of monstrous proportions I was taken back! I quickly said no! It’s too big! Too tall! It has a narrow section in the middle! It’s not good enough! His disappointment was obvious. I walked around looking for another with him then decided to go back! The tree wasn’t perfect. Never chosen many times over the years for one reason or another.It had grown far beyond most people’s vision of a Xmas tree. But not Zane’s. The tree spoke to him somehow. I suddenly thought. Why not? We’ve got enough room. This is 2020 after all! A year of big changes.Big challenges. Big decisions with big consequences. Big moves in new directions. If ever there was a year to cut a large tree this was it! I named it Colossus! A tree this size needs a name! It took Zane some time to fell it. Some effort to get it into the bed of the truck. Getting it stood up in our house was no easy task either. Colossus needed a haircut to fit! Standing tall in our house Colossus makes a statement. Not perfect in shape but certainly in the spirit of nature. This year will be difficult to forget for all its been. As will this giant of Xmas trees! We studied the growth rings. We estimate the tree to 20 plus years old. There’s history there. The narrow band of branches possibly the result of deer browsing in the deep snows of a harsh winter. The dry years apparent in narrow growth rings. Colossus must have been a tiny seedling during the destructive ice storm of 1998. We felt a certain remorse in cutting it. But the neighboring seedlings will flourish in the more abundant sunlight produced by the tree’s removal. Colossus was planted to be harvested. A harvest that waited years for our arrival in the year 2020. This tree will bless our home in many ways. Sweet forest scents. Presence and dignity in that tall and sturdy stance. That annual time when we truly invite nature into our homes. The new year will come and Colossus will end up next to our bird feeder for awhile. We’ve made some happy memories in just one short day gracing our home with this imperfect behemoth. We’ll make more! Colossus will live forever! In our hearts and in our MOONTABS!