Why Have I Stayed?

January has moved right along but that’s understandable as I have maintained a rather full schedule. I just worked my final day on the Ice Palace project in the Village Of Saranac Lake, New York yesterday. I was able to spend more days volunteering there this year but I will follow up with a featured story of my time there in the future. It’s worthy of one. Another post worthy topic is the work I did logging with my former neighbor on January 15th and 16th. It’s a story best suited to compliment my Run Of The Mill series at some point. Today I am rather entranced by some muses on winter so I think this post will be justified highlighting some of those thoughts! It all started on the way home late yesterday afternoon. Two hours of driving home from Saranac Lake gives a person plenty of time to think!

I left the village around 3pm yesterday and headed down Route 3 like usual on bare,salted roads. Somehow a car had plowed into some guard rails several miles before the Village Of Tupper Lake. Strange as the road was completely bare! Much later on during my drive I left Route 3 in the Town of Fine to head west on Route 58. This takes me to Gouverneur where I take a series of roads that lead me to the Homestead. Route 58 has many open sections where farm meadows come down to meet the road. The wind had picked up and snow was blowing into the road in places. I remained vigilant as the bare road was deceiving at times. Snowy patches would suddenly appear and I would inherently slow down to navigate across them. My 4 studded tires give me excellent traction but there is a limit to any set of tires with the right conditions. Near the Village Of Edwards a car had slid off a snowy corner in an open spot. Good fortune for the driver as he hit nothing expect the ditch full of snow. He was about to be towed out as I went past. The wind was intense as I neared Gouverneur. After a quick stop for groceries, I continued on to the Homestead on increasingly snowy patches of road. Zane was there and had the wood stove going which was a welcome sight to me! The wind was howling across the main meadow and hitting the cabin full force. It was great to be off the roads! We had plenty of food and firewood! We were set for whatever happened you hoped! But before I could settle in I had to disassemble the Chop Shop tent that covers the outside tools. It had blown loose from its corner posts and was in the process of destroying itself. Luckily my tie down anchors were frozen into the ground and my ropes were strong nylon material. After some cursing and wrestling the tent was safely flat and secured. The tools themselves were now exposed but I didn’t bother trying to cover them in the gale force winds. I grabbed some extra firewood from the cabin’s front lean to woodshed and headed into the warm, inviting interior. Life was good!

Sometime after dark it began to snow while the wind continued to whip against the cabin walls. We enjoyed a simple dinner of hot turkey sandwiches with gravy that I was able to quickly prepare in our temporary makeshift kitchen. This is the second winter of having a makeshift kitchen and this one is slightly different then last year’s. The new addition is now open to the original cabin and heated. It’s full of stored construction things at the moment. Tools and screws mostly. All work has been sidelined lately given all the other volunteering. I have a cot set up for sleeping downstairs when Zane is home. He occupies the loft for hanging out and sleeping. It’s very warm up there! I passed the evening watching a movie on my tablet. I don’t have a tv in the downstairs of the cabin. It’s not necessary really and I often read. A quick look out the window as the wind continued its onslaught showed a decent snowstorm in progress. It was a good night to be hunkered down! We could stay warm even if the power failed. That’s something I had wanted in my cabin plan.

I went to bed fairly early but got up around 12:30 am to put more firewood in the stove. Outside it was still blowing and snowing hard. The snow looked like it was accumulating but it was difficult to tell as it was really swirling around out there! By morning I had put wood into the stove two more times. It was 9 degrees with a rather brisk breeze giving a minus 2 degree windchill according to my phone’s weather app. The sky was dawning clear and bright though. Outside the expanses of untouched snow resembled a giant art canvas. Nothing stirred except for a few birds visiting the feeder behind the new addition. Zane needed to leave and but needed me to plow the driveway first. We had gotten around 10” of new powder snow and there were scattered drifts around the vehicles and in front of the cabin. Zane plugged in the tractor’s block heater for me. Without it , the chances of it starting were questionable. The tractor is kept in the bottom of the Big Red barn out of the weather. During the colder months I keep anti fuel gel additive in its diesel tank at all times. All important steps that help us deter the winter problems that might arise. Keeping the tractor functioning is key to surviving winter.

The Main Meadow. Post snow storm this morning.

I plowed snow for a long time before I finally got everything cleared. I did a thorough job on the driveway and parking areas. This was only the second time that I had needed to plow this winter! I can’t complain about that! I also plowed up to the warehouse and made a large parking area there as well. I also plowed behind the cabin by the woodshed as we will be in need of firewood soon. The supply of hardwood slabs stored in the upper woodshed continue to disappear. given the rate that we burn them.It’s time to get to the forest for some winter wood firewood cutting. I plan to skid trees log length right to the woodshed to save time. We did it last winter and it worked well. I broke out the tractor road to the upper meadows beyond the gap ridge and skidded down a log that I had left behind last winter. It’s red elm and should dry quickly once cut and split. We have plenty of snow for skidding logs but not so much to cripple moving around with the tractor. I need to install it’s front tire chains though. That really helps its traction.During sugaring having the tire chains on is usually a necessity.

Plowing out.

It was truly a beautiful January day with blue skies and a warm sun when I was out of the wind. Icicles were melting off the cabin as I worked to bank it with snow to help keep the floors warmer. There’s more of that to do depending on the weather forecast. I decided I had enough firewood for another night and mentally dedicated Wednesday for a firewood day. It looks like we might get more snow tonight. Did I make a good decision? Time will tell. I love being outdoors but had spent enough time out I decided by 1:30 pm. Tomorrow was another day and I was happy with my accomplishments. While I was out and about on the tractor I noticed very few signs of life on the surface of the new snow. I spotted a few squirrel tracks in the sugarbush and those of a weasel. The weasel had come from the sugarbush over to the big slab wood pile next to the sugar house. It had gone into the sugar house and then out the far side.No doubt hunting mice for dinner. I could visualize it’s tiny white form hopping through the fresh snow. The winter white ermine that is brown in the other seasons is a lethal hunter! I wondered if it had caught its dinner? It moved on at any rate heading through the woods to somewhere. It’s tiny form edible to an owl or hawk if caught in the open. Not even hunters are invincible when larger predators occupy the same territory. These are hungry time I suspect. A time of great energy expenditure in the snowy,frigid conditions of deep winter. But rodents are plentiful it seemed last fall at least. And good hunters probably manage just fine. All this as darkest comes again and suddenly cloudy skies where the wind has picked up again. Inside the tiny cabin the hungry wood stove demands constant fuel. But we have it ready and inside for the night. My own body will demand fuel later. A hot dinner from the makeshift kitchen will take some time to prepare but will be satisfying next to the wood stove. And an interesting pattern of thoughts had presented themselves to me today as I took what winter had brought us into stride. And a most intriguing question. Why do we stay here in this cold,frozen place?

The hunter left it’s sign. A weasel ( ermine) leaves a most obvious set of tracks.

I first asked the question this morning as I put on layers of heavy winter clothing before plowing snow. Wool socks over regular socks into gripping rubber boots well suited for snow. High and flexible they are a winter stable. I wear my rabbit fur Bomber hat for working typically reserving my muskrat hat for more leisurely type activities although I usually wore it working on the Ice Palace. Heavy gloves are a must for my hands. All this gear takes up space in a house and takes time to don! This morning inside the super frigid, unheated barn I had stepped onto a very cold tractor that started with a whiny protest. Why do we stay when it’s so much more difficult to do even simple things? Why do we stay needing to move mountains of snow each winter? Why do we stay when it takes extra energy for everything? Fuel for snow removal equipment for our homes and highways. Fuel for our bodies for shoveling snow and wading through it. Winter exacts a higher cost in all types of energy. Fuel to heat our homes and businesses most certainly . It’s all rather perplexing when you really consider it. Wouldn’t it be easier to leave with the summer birds and head south? So I asked myself again: why do we stay? I think I know why I have stayed.

The tiny snow sculptures.

Thinking back it’s rather obvious really. I stayed as a child because home was where my parents chose to live. Home was here in this four season part of the world.It’s what I knew and I never thought or needed to question it. I was taken care of and taught how to dress for winter. Fortunately I had a family who could afford me all the attire I needed for winter. Winters came and went as I grew up. I never thought about leaving. My family never traveled to faraway tropical settings. We stayed here and tackled each winter like icy warriors going into battle with the elements. Things weren’t always easy and things sometimes went wrong. Frozen pipes and frozen equipment that refused to work would impend winter tasks severely. We endured some very cold weather. Minus 20 below and sometimes colder. Why did we stay? We stayed because our jobs and schools were here. Our families were here often as not. Grandparents and siblings. Our homes were here. Our farms and property. Perhaps our livestock as well. That’s why we stayed.But this story must return to a more personal journey for me to tell it properly. For I assume many things about other people. This is my story and maybe some of yours.

Why did I stay? The childhood part is pretty self explanatory don’t you think?But when offered a chance to head off to distant colleges in warmer states after high school? What was the answer to that. And after college? Why did I want to find employment here and make a home here? Why did I seek out like minded women and desire to share time with them here? That’s a complicated story line for me and one that will need to remain somewhat hazy for the moment. For it is a lengthy tale with many turns and twists. Difficult to fathom at times even for myself. Perhaps I avoid some truths there that I might rather not face. They aren’t dark or filled with shame deeds. They simply deal with large passages of time that has gone by now. Time. That subject that I promised by written intention to visit differently on this page in 2025. Many of my stories are from the past but when told properly won’t revolve around time as a central topic. And I have strayed from my subject as I am prone to do at times. Let’s cut to the chase.

I suppose that I could write a very lengthy manuscript on this subject as I examine it further. But a summary might be best for the moment. A glimpse through a window that might be a door. I can easily tell you more reasons why I chose to stay in this frozen winter landscape hen ones why I shouldn’t. It’s really quite simple actually. This area has always been my home. I never lived anywhere else. Sure I have traveled south in the winter and spent Easter breaks there. Many times over the years. And I suddenly realize that there’s a much larger story within this story. To truly answer my own questions I must ask more of them to deliver the answers. So consider this part one of a two part story. I have presented a case against winter here at times. Given it an almost criminal element. But winter is innocent until proven guilty. And with Mother Nature defending her seasons there will be no winning this case. After all ,we humans have chosen to live here and face winter each season. I think I am spinning in circles here. Time to rest and deliberate. It is enough. ✍️

The Icewalker’s Plunge

Mid January finds with a small amount of snow on the ground but nothing major. 6”-8” of powder snow isn’t much for this time of year really. Last year on this very day we had a snow storm that dropped several inches on us after a warm spell had left us with mostly bare ground. I was recovering from my artery incident then and wasn’t pushing myself too hard. Walking mostly but we managed a few other tasks around the cabin. It was a new chapter for me then.

I have been balancing my time between the valley and the Adirondacks since the end of fall to now as I mentioned recently in my last post. The biggest news recently is that with the help of the Amish carpenters we finally finished the siding on the cabin last week. Some soffit work remains but the weatherbeaten tarpaper is now all covered. Zane and I had sawn plenty of siding fortunately so there was no danger running out. We also removed some old rusty roofing from my Uncles barn up the road at the property where I had my first house in 1983. We repaired the lean to roofing boards and some structural damage before adding 4 sheets of new metal. The old metal matches some that my Dad had repurposed from the old garage that used to be here before the 2012 house fire. He used it on the sugar house here and I may need it also for the cabin. I started out just wanting some old metal to put on the wall behind the new wood stove in the cabin above the Drury brick hearth. But then I decided that I want old metal on the ceiling in the new addition of the cabin. It remains to be seen if we will have enough to do all our work. It’s stashed outside and needs a very thorough cleaning. Maybe I will flip it upside down and show the underside which has no rust. The design on the metal is what makes it special. A wave type pattern repeats itself a long the length of the 2’ wide siding. It’s very unique! We had a couple of rather cold days last week while doing our outdoor work but we soldiered through despite!

The repairs after the removal of the old roofing

By last Thursday I decided that I needed a day to just catch up on a few things around the cabin. The carpenters had finished their work here that they had time for by Wednesday afternoon. So I hauled some firewood and stocked up the cabin woodshed. Keeping firewood stocked for the cabin keeps me rather busy actually especially on cold days like we had last week. It’s noteworthy that I had just installed a ventilation fan in the loft floor of the cabin and ducted it into the new addition. With more insulation in place it has been heating well since. The loft is much cooler as a result. Before it was way too hot up there most nights while the back portion of the cabin stayed rather cool. I think things will balance out well now. As for the firewood, I have been hauling it down from the old granary up behind the barn where it was stored last spring. Super dry hardwood slab wood from the sawmill project at my friend Gregger’s last spring. It just needs a bit of splitting here and there. The mixed cherry and yellow birch make a super hot fire. Before too long we will need to cut and haul in some dry red elm that’s burn ready. Our current supply of firewood won’t last until spring.

The siding progresses.

By Thursday afternoon I was ready for an outdoor outing so I decided to snowshoe down Beaver Creek if the ice was ok. There barely enough snow to need snowshoes but I wore them anyway.Upon reaching the edge of the marsh where the grass is thick, I quickly realized that the ice wasn’t all that great. I struggled out through the bogs breaking through in several shallow spots before reaching the bare open sections. But even here the ice was very thin and weak! It wasn’t looking good but I didn’t want to backtrack across the crappy bog part so I pressed on. Slowly and cautiously, I might add! The ice was fickle and unpredictable. Some spots were ok but my tapping beaver sticks would detect hollow sounding spots below the snow covered surface. Death traps I call them. I managed to skirt several tricky spots and reached a deeper wider section of the main channel. After one rather close call I chose a shortcut on a smaller side channel that held me up rather well. I soon reached the area we call “The Deep Hole”. It seemed like decent ice but was slushy on top. A sure sign of thin ice being pushed down by the weight of the snow. I became even more cautious and my forward progress became even slower. I noticed an active beaver lodge and was happy to see them occupying the area. They come and go from this spot on occasion but continue to occupy it mostly. I knew that I could never hope to get across the main beaver dam that spans the creek here. It’s a challenge at times even with much better ice. I approached the dam and laughed when the dog almost broke through where she was walking next to it. I was trying to get close enough to what we call the “Big Cliff” to get photos of some large icicles hanging from a section of it. Without warning I suddenly plunged through the ice with both snowshoes! There was no cracking first or anything suspicious! Just a death trap breakthrough! I was held up by beaver stick walking sticks fortunately and for a second was expecting the shock of cold water filling my boots! But I lunged up onto my knees and somehow avoided getting wet! My nylon hiking pants were so tight around my boots that no water got in! My knees got a little wet but that was nothing. Snow on ice is the great insulator and the death traps are invisible from above. Even the tapping and probing of the beaver sticks fails me at times. Just one of my many plunges over the years I suppose.

The plunge hole!

At this point I lost my desire to ice walk any further! I cautiously and nervously backtracked my way to a channel that got me safely ashore in the stand of white cedars known as “ The Cedars”. This tiny grove has been here my entire life. Never really getting any larger or much smaller. Sometimes the beaver cut a few and years ago we cut out some big dead ones for salvage. The Cedars seems ageless although I didn’t see any of the tamaracks that once lived alongside the cedars. Perhaps they are all gone. The cedars contains a couple of boggy spring holes that never freeze. I used to trap here as a young boy for raccoon. In winter I trapped ermine under the shelter of the cedars in small cubby sets. I used wax paper to keep my traps from freezing. I once caught a red fox here also. My ermine traps were empty most of the time but I didn’t care. I became familiar with the area and loved its remote feeling of winter beauty out of sight of the road and the farm buildings. I was destined to desire to explore this area and all that lay beyond it was I grew a bit older. The marsh was my classroom and I was an interested student who showed up frequently. And the spirit of the Icewalker was forged here. Not of molten metal but of ice and snow. Adversity would thrill me here. Wet feet and cold hands. Frosty cheeks and nose at times. Those were cold winters. Some nights my Father would not let me run my small trap line because of the cold and approaching darkness. But I would return soon and resume my frosty activities. There are many memories here in the marsh of the big gorge. Perhaps that’s why I return each winter.

After a rest and the reminiscing, I tackled the cut up the side of steep ravine that would take me towards the Homestead cabin where the warm wood stove awaited. I stopped at one point and gazed back at the marsh. I was disappointed that the ice had not been better for traveling. And I pondered several things then. How many times had I stood in this exact spot over the years? How different the winters are now. How much older I had become. And how the draw to run the ice and call myself the Icewalker had never diminished. How long would I try? How many winters would gift me the opportunity? Such thoughts became too much then so I chose something far different to break the serious moment. I spoke with my best Arnold Schwarzenegger imitation downhill towards the marsh: “I’ll Be Back!”. But no one heard me but the dog and a few disinterested winter birds. But that was fine. I know that I will be back if good fortune and good health continue to favor me. And I will play the game of staying on top of the ice as I move forward to explore the further reaches of the gorge of the big creek called Beaver. I have no fear there. Just respect for this beautiful and enchanting place. I have traveled the ice here more times than I can remember now. What adventures I have had! I will be watching and waiting for signs of better ice. Then I will set out once again! And not forgetting the Icewalker’s motto: The distance in must be traveled out!” It is enough! ✍️

Back To The Homestead

It’s really been interesting since we moved back to the farm property. AKA: The Homestead. It always takes some adjustment getting everything moved and this year there was extra cleaning to do since rodents had been busy in the cabin and in the Airstream. Having them get into the Airstream was a first and I can’t help but wonder if it was because I had boughten a different brand of mouse repellent pouches for it. I think there’s an abundance of mice this fall based on the number we have caught so far. So far damage in the Airstream appears to be limited to some blankets, paper products, and minor things like that. But it’s hard to see just where they may have been busy destroying things. Since getting it set up I have had no further problems. Same in the cabin. After catching several there have been no more. Lily the cat has also moved to the farm so that is a total asset. Just the other day we saw her with a mouse in her mouth! Yay Lily!

We have made some progress getting Zane settled into the cabin loft. I am currently staying in the winterized Airstream where I mostly just hang out,sleep, and have morning coffee. It also serves as an office setting where I can sit down with mail etc. I rarely cook in there lately since setting the makeshift kitchen back up in the cabin. Zane and I have dinner there most evenings. Although I am away on the weekends some. With the bathroom and laundry center in the cabin , life flows rather well. We removed the old wood stove recently and have been heating the cabin with the recessed 240 volt electric heater. It does a decent job although on super cold days it really runs a lot. Just this week I assembled the new wood stove and began construction on it hearth extension to raise it off the floor an additional 14”. We will be able to store some firewood underneath. It’s not as elaborate as I once envisioned but will function well I believe. I used salvaged red brick from Saranac Lake to build facade walls and a top. The main support frame was built with repurposed pressure treated salvaged from the deck project in Saranac Lake last summer. All these repurposed materials continue the theme of the rustic cabin. We are inching forward to getting the wood stove set and the new heavy duty stovepipe system through the roof. A tricky job I predict.

The biggest news is the 8’x12’ addition I decided to add on the sugarbush side of the cabin. With both Zane and I planning on wintering in the cabin we need more space! It will add more space of the kitchenette area as well. I plan to tuck a bed into the back section of it. Zane and I laid out the foundation pier locations recently and he dug out the holes. We used some repurposed 6”x6” pressure treated pieces for the piers and cemented them in. Fortunately just ahead of a recent cold snap and some snow. I hired two carpenters from the Shetler family on the outskirts of Macomb last week and they started framed up the floor supports yesterday. We now have an insulated and covered floor footprint of the addition. Walls and rafters will follow next week weather permitting. All of the lumber for the addition was recently sawn using our saw mill and the big quantities of logs on the skidway. Zane and I spent almost two days getting it all ready. This also generated a nice pile of sugar wood to dump by the sugar house. It took a little effort to get the sawmill running but after draining the fuel system and adding new gas it has run great since. Good fortune has favored us! The weather has begun to get rather chilly and we currently have about 3” of powder snow on the ground. It been hovering around 20 degrees the last couple days. Warmer weather and rain will arrive next week.

This short post gets things current again and fills in some of gaps as to exactly where we have landed recently after closing up Camp Edith. We made it out of there just ahead of a freeze up! It’s nice living back at the farm and getting things in motion again with the cabin. My free time has been spent in the Adirondacks doing some hiking etc. There’s a larger story there that can wait for now. I have even done some part time work on the Methane Project as November closed out. Life is busy and the spin has intensified. But winter is closing in fast now. The geese are leaving in big flicks now and we see them all day. Think of the ones that go through in the night! Do they fly much at night? Something to research perhaps! I will follow up on more progress as things develop. This is a rather exciting time for us! Coffee fueled each morning! It’s a rather interesting choice for living arrangements but it seems like the way forward. Tonight I write this from the comfort of a motel room awaiting a Xmas party where we will spend the evening. A break from the farm. Nice diversion! Until next time!✍️

The Ok Slip Falls

It’s Friday evening November 1st and I just got settled into my room at the Faust Motel in Tupper Lake, New York well over the Blue Line of the Adirondack Park. Why I am here for the second time in a week is a question that is easily answered. I like it here! Zane and I stayed in the room next door for two nights when we came up to the Adks to celebrate his birthday early. And that story is what I will tell shortly. But as to why I am here tonight is a story of a different sort. The universe steers me at times and where we had intended to stay last weekend didn’t pan out. I was driving home from work last Friday tried to decide where we might stay when the word Faust popped into my head! Faust is considered part of the village of Tupper Lake these days but once was known separately as a village that was the location of a railroad depot. The Faust Motel is about the only remaining place keeping the name going today. I just learned this a couple years ago from a local person.Anyway I Goggled the Faust Motel phone number and left a message about securing a room. The owner contacted us while we were driving up and just like that we had accommodations! Good rates too! We found our room warm and inviting when we arrived. Plenty of room and there are no televisions! No problem for us. We were set! Step one was complete! We would be waking up already close to our destination. I feel asleep super early after my long day.

We slept well and for a long time into Saturday morning. I headed over to get coffee at the little place at the motel where the owner makes it. I met the owner and chatted with her for quite awhile as other guests came and went. Fun! I got Zane up and moving so we could get our day moving. We stopped at Chef Darrel’s Mountain Cafe in Blue Mountain Lake for a hearty breakfast of eggs Benedict and pie. We were ready to hike! Our driving destination was a trailhead just a few miles past Indian Lake. The trail to Ok Slip Falls is about 3 miles counting the short distance you must hike a long the highway first. It’s a really well maintained trail with board sections spanning muddy areas. Much of it covers high well drained ridges where it’s very dry actually. A pleasant surprise as quite often trails can be muddy herd paths. The trail winds through a couple nice stands of evergreens. The first stand predominantly large white pine and the second one mostly large hemlock. The forest is quite open in spots given the age of its trees and the highness of most of the canopy. Zane and I made good time on the trail where almost all the leaves had fallen recently. The distance we could see through the forest was impressive and much different then a summer hike would have been. The trail went up and down to a degree but nothing major. We eventually reached a dirt road with power lines a long it that we traveled a short distance before turning off. It appeared that we were on some sort of old logging road at times. Pretty decent hiking really. There were a couple small rivulets of water to cross but nothing of any size. The trail was about to change we suddenly realized as we topped out onto a ridge.

Off in the distance we could see some high bluffs with open rocky ledges. The land beyond where we had topped off fell away from us into what appeared to be a large valley of some size. I mentioned to Zane that somewhere down there would be a stream or river. We knew from the trail description that the Hudson River was back in that direction somewhere. It was all making sense that the falls would be showing themselves before too long. The temperature was pleasant and the sun would occasionally come out for awhile. Zane was down to his tee shirt but I still wore my hoodie. My blood thinner make me run a little cooler these days that’s all. But I am fortunate to be in good enough condition to hike. Even with my injured knee that I brace up each day. It’s going to need to be addressed sometime this winter as I can’t continue on this way. They suspect my meniscus is damaged but not totally torn loose. It’s rather bothersome and causes me a fair amount of discomfort each day. But staying off the trail when I wanted nothing more then to hike with Zane wasn’t an option for me. I was feeling pretty good actually and not really suffering. I was enjoying my hike with Zane! Just like old times!

The trail began to descend in a winding fashion into the valley. Before too long I heard the water fall. We got our first view soon after and it was very impressive! The next overlook was even better and there was a great view of the falls. There were a couple other people there and we had passed two groups of hikers headed back out as we made our way in. We took a few photos and went to investigate more of the trail to see if there was a way down into the gorge. But a sign stating end of trail appeared. We decided to go past anyway to see if there was a way down. Others had done the same and there was a very steep but crude descending trail. It soon got super steep and I had to stash my beaver stick trekking poles. Soon we had to use ropes that people had tied here and there to get down even steeper sections. I was getting very nervous and kept asking Zane if we should turn back but he kept insisting that we could make it. We reached a place where the trail became only a foot or so wide next to a steep ledge. To the left there were almost no trees and a rocky slide looking section that dropped over a ledge. Not a safe place to go and I was very s scared. Zane crossed it easily and coaxed me across it. Not my idea of fun! After that it wasn’t as bad with trees and roots to hang onto while descending. We eventually reached the bottom and stood next to a large pool of water. I spotted a small trout swimming in it shallow sunny section near shore. Zane raced ahead to the base of the falls and I caught up after awhile. I was a little shaky from the descent and it took me a minute to relax again. But the view was worth all the effort and risk it had taken to get down there. We got up close to the falls but had to watch for super slick rocks. The base of the falls was a jumbled pile of rocks of all sizes. Some were huge! We took more photos and I gazed up at the overlook where we had stood before descending. We were in a circular basin with high rock walls on three sides. Eerily beautiful and peaceful despite the hazards getting down. We made our way up with relative ease but it was rather strenuous. I found it less stressful climbing up and was glad when we crossed the narrow section of ledge with the potentially fatal drop off. But what an adventure! So much more then just sitting up at the overlook. We rested at the overlook and enjoyed a snack with plenty of water. It was time to make our way out.

The trip out was uneventful and I was beginning to tire some as my knee began to burn with overexertion. It seemed like a long trip but we made it out fairly quickly. We had done it! Made it to Ok Slip Falls! One of the highest waterfalls in the Adirondacks! Zane and I had bonded greatly from the experience. Something we both needed! Adirondack time never disappoints. The adventure was a true battery charging event even if it had worn me down physically. We still had daylight remaining as we made our way back to Tupper Lake so we stopped at Buttermilk Falls near Long Lake. Very easy to find and close to the road. Always a treat! Back at the room it was shower time and then dinner. I feel asleep early again and Sunday morning would find me having coffee again in the coffee room. Zane wanted to explore Lake Placid so we visited the Olympic Center where I had worked in 2021 and 2022. We hit some shops and a bookstore before grabbing lunch at the Pickled Pig. A fav LP restaurant of mine! On the drive home we hiked up to Mount Arab and climbed up the fire tower. Our weekend was ending but we had had a wonderful adventure! A little bit of everything! Hiking and waterfalls. Dining out and hitting shops. A true Adirondack experience! MOONTABS were made and for that I am most grateful!✍️

The Push

It’s been awhile since I took the time to write here. Things have changed dramatically in the past few weeks in several ways. Work has continued to dominate my schedule as the September 15th cutoff for my employment was extended until October 31st.This has brought both pros and cons into play most certainly.Too say that the past several weeks have been a blur is true and accurate. There’s been a lot of progress made though. Both on the methane project where I have been working and at home.One of the biggest accomplishments has been helping get all the haying done! I stepped up and began mowing for my Uncles on September 10th shortly after my last post.This continued until Friday September 20th pretty much every day except Sunday. I mowed the last of their big hay fields that hadn’t gotten done this summer then moved down to my own farm. We enjoyed a nice stretch of hot,dry weather that was perfect for September haying. I would mow until dark after work which would take me to about 7:30 pm then return to Camp Edith for dinner and a shower. Those were some long days!

Laying it down.

It was great seeing the haying finally getting done at my farm.Not so different then last year but this time it was all round bales. With my work schedule there was no time for loads of square bales. Once my fields were done I mowed second cut at my Uncles place most of the final week.We did a lot in 10 days considering it was just Uncle Art and me. My other Uncle was recovering from surgery. I found myself enjoying the mowing. I saw deer,ravens,and hawks most nights as I mowed. Some of the sunsets were spectacular and I even got to see a wonderful moonrise a couple evenings. The scent of freshly mown hay was rather intoxicating at times. There was a feeling of accomplishment that carried me through my fatigue when I needed that final burst of energy most days.

My farm is down! All mowed!Raking underway.

Meanwhile on the methane project the farmer was busy harvesting and piling corn for silage. An operation of mammoth proportions. The corn silage trucks rolled with dusty succession all day every day. I named the corn silage pile “Corn Mountain”. The hundreds of acres of standing corn began to disappear and all that remained were rows of stubble. We were busy as well there. Placing conduit into the ground for our power and control systems. It was a hot period of September weather that was much different then what October would bring.

Corn Mountain.

The Monday after my final night of mowing, the project went onto 10 hour work days. I wasn’t thrilled with this and worked as much as I could but never any Saturdays.We took off to the Adirondacks recently for a weekend away to the Indian Lake area for hiking and paddling.Luckily the weather cooperated and we had a nice time. I had hoped to see some beaver to video one evening but they remained elusive and the coming darkness would force us to leave the flow we were paddling. We had spent some of that day on a hike and saved our paddling for the afternoon. We discovered a creek that dumped into the flow and followed it until a beaver dam forced us to stop. It was fragrant and tranquil! The scent of balsam permeated the creek bed and it was rather awesome up in there! Except for the biting flies! They look like house flies and they bite hard! I used my handkerchief as a fly swatter and soon the bottom of the canoe was littered with their broken bodies. It felt good to take the hunt to them at that point seeing as they had cut our beach picnic time short!The sun began to cast shadows over the mountains and although the leaves weren’t at peak color it was stunningly beautiful! The sun was warm and it was very pleasant paddling. A true battery charging moment to enjoy after a busy work week. But change was waiting for me and I didn’t realize it then. Perhaps it’s best not to know some things in advance lest the moment be tarnished and become bittersweet. It was Saturday and there was still one day to enjoy before the new work week began. Retirement is a gift and returning to work continues to remind me of that. But this year’s work was serving a higher purpose. The endless need for cash flow never ceases that’s for sure. So sometimes small sacrifices pay big dividends. It’s not that bad after all. I do enjoy my work most days.

The stream off the flow.

So here it is October 13th. We are still living at Camp Edith after installing a new pump to deliver lake water to us. Our other water source had to be disconnected a few weeks back and we were not ready to move back to the Homestead just yet. After a few minor glitches which were rather maddening given the schedule the water system is performing well. We always have the option of using the shower and bathroom at the farm fortunately. We have been making cider over there after work at night. It’s a good time to get laundry caught up! Zane brought in 15 bags of apples and I can’t say for sure how much cider we pressed but it’s quite a bit! Some went into the freezer but he’s fermenting some also for hard cider. It’s nice to see him in touch with his rural heritage. Not to mention all the pumpkins he grew to give away. What a kid! 19 and still very much a boy at times. Reminds me of someone!

Pumpkin patch at the Homestead.

It’s Sunday night again and Monday morning looms some 10 hours away. We are cozy and warm here with a nice supply of firewood on hand finally. Yesterday’s power outage that lasted almost 24 hours is behind us. Nothing some generator hook up couldn’t solve although my schedule got thrown aside. Being able to adapt quickly has its advantages at times. Life is changing fast it seems. This has been a most turbulent year at times. But it has also been filled with moments of discovery and happiness. Passion and adventure. And crushing moments of painful indecision and sadness. How best to proceed becomes a most perplexing question for me as autumn grabs hold of the north country. Where am I going and what waits for me next? November 1st will be a new chapter where my work on the methane project will be behind me. Time will be short as Homestead projects move to the top of the priority list. Daylight is waning now as we move to the next solstice. And frost will grip the land once again slowing us down at times. I hope to begin to write here more frequently and with more meaningful content. I am tired quite honestly. My spirit energy has also waned somewhat. But my schedule was self imposed and my decision. And I must see my commitment to the project through as I promised. But did I break other promises in the midst of the blur? It weighs heavy at times but days of autumn remain and there is still time. And we are fortune here in the upstate region to be spared the ravages of the hurricanes and flooding that have battered the south recently. My challenges and concerns seem petty by comparison. So I remain grateful and humble I hope. MOONTABS are being made. It is enough.✍️

On the digester cover!

The Spin

August has sped by in a blur for me. Reflections on the passage of time never get old for me! With my birthday just past now it’s no surprise that I would want to write about it a little. Speaking of writing and little it’s been just over two weeks since my last post. Not to mention two weeks since we returned from our Canadian adventure. Work has been my recent adventure honestly. The methane digester project continues to ramp up and it’s where I occupy my time Monday through Friday. It’s a great job out in corn country near Madrid. The amount of crops that are and will be harvested there defies my imagination. Everything is super sized and in motion constantly. Especially the manure! I view it as energy now since entering the realms of methane digesting technology. Unfortunately for me I still don’t know exactly all the systems fit together. My young apprentice coworker and I bounce around the project knocking out various tasks to get the electrical power systems in place. That part I understand without question. My work since I became an apprentice in 1982 has been revolving around that occupation. And though many things have advanced through technology we still move electrical current the same old way! Copper cables to carry the current! Familiarity breeds efficiently for the installers! My time on the job grows short as my allowed work period ends September 15th. This project will need to finish without me!

Transformer pad underground conduits on a cool, rainy day.

With work being the central focus I don’t get much else accomplished it seems. After a busy day it’s all that I can do to get dinner on the table and a few other chores done. My energy is not without limits it appears as I hit 62 years of age. I have been spending my weekends doing a few miscellaneous things but nothing major. I was tapped out upon my return from Quebec! I hit the job site that first Monday back pretty rested and ready to roll. It’s all about a cash grab now.Selling my time for money and fringe benefits that will pay off in the months that follow. A paradox of sorts. The grand trade off as summer passes and the first signs of autumn appear. And there lies the dance with the devil . Time can’t be bought back. One thing is most certain: retiring at age 55 was one of the best moves of my life!

The corn fields rise to the sun.

So what’s the spin? Me mostly, trying to keep up with my self imposed pace. The Homestead looks like it’s deserted these days with Zane and I living at Camp Edith. He recently moved in with me which has been nice when I manage to see him. Our schedules don’t exactly align at the moment. And then there’s the changes in my private personal life. But that’s another story for another day. My return to the valley has ushered in change out beyond the crossroads where I was traveling at high speed. A sudden detour ever watchful for the road that might lead me to my last exit. The song “The Last Exit” by Still Corners always gets me thinking about time and where I am heading. Spun up and spiraling? Is that a part of ascension? Who knows really? And this is far from being any sort of connection to nature!

3am sleepless moment. Worth it!

The uncut hayfields of the Homestead serve to remind me of my private life on hold while I work. Back in the day I would push myself with an intensity that bordered on obsession trying to keep up with everything. The Homestead cabin project will hopefully resume sometime this fall when work ends for me. In the meantime the land sits idle. I am rather well staged for the project though with several key things in place already. Logs, the new wood stove, and stored lumber wait for their time to be brought to life. All this will be easier for me with the cooler temperatures of autumn. Living at Camp Edith is the simple solution at the moment. The Airstream sits idle also. Safely stored in the warehouse and waiting for a plan. Held in trust so to speak. And if this is a game, am I winning or losing? Or am I playing it as best I can? I remain positive most days. That is the best way forward and things continue to happen to guide my feet. The inner spirit whispers patience when patience is hard to embrace at times. Things are showing themselves. Acquiescence right? I will look back on this moment at some point and reflect upon it.

Methane flares rise like metal stalks.

So this rather confusing stroll through the forests of Tazmania may not enlighten you very much in the grand scheme of things. Let it serve as a reminder that life is not perfect or without challenges. It is not painless and easy. Growth takes energy. And the clock tells me that it’s time to prepare for a new workday. But it’s Friday and a long weekend approaches. I have made some plans to explore a new section of the Adirondacks. An adventure awaits in nature. The work will be forgotten for a moment and the spin may slow. I made the spin in the first place. And momentum can be hard to stop if you chose not to touch the brakes and always hit the gas.✍️

One Would Be Missing

Wow what a summer! So much for recent blogs! I don’t even know where to begin really. Life changes fast sometimes and it’s difficult to keep up at times. But we all live within the same 24 hours don’t we when you really stop to think about it? And isn’t everyone rather busy with something? My situation has changed dramatically since my last post. I spent some of July in the Adirondacks but was asked if I would return to work in mid July. I accepted and stepped on the job on July 17th. I liked the project immediately as it turned out. I was assigned to a methane digester project on a large farm outside of Madrid, New York. It’s much different then most projects I have worked. Why work when I am already retired? Money of course! As in extra for travel and things like that. Yes it ties up my time and occupies my days but the perks are worth it considering the short time I will be there ultimately.So I have made my decision and will stand behind it now. I remain loyal to my employer of 3 years now although I had almost no work in 2023. Loyalty is important to a guy like me. I take it very seriously. No matter whether it’s work,family,or in a relationship. So work has been interfering with my life to use an old joke of mine!😂

Tazman hits the site!

Another big reason for returning to the valley has been Zane. He’s been working himself this summer. He got a job with NYS Parks and Recreation at a campground near here. It’s his first real job and it’s been good for him. But his schedule doesn’t align with mine so we don’t get much time together. That’s difficult for both of us. There are other reasons for my return to living full time in the valley but they are of a more complicated and personal nature. Connected to the universal flow of energy in some sort of natural progression it appears. Not easily described even if I were so inclined. Suffice it to say that the winds of change have been blowing and I have been surfing some heavy waves. All this is rather confusing and sudden but necessary as I struggle with some growing pains in my journey for ascension. Internal turmoil be challenging at times. What does all this have to do with connections to nature? More then you might consider actually. For my personal challenges loosen my connection to nature and I can become off balance. Out of synch and out of focus. Thus a lack of words to share. Life isn’t perfect right? I never give up trying to make the best possible decisions for myself. After all, my own survival is paramount in my desire to protect those I care about. There’s a connection to nature perhaps but it’s a bit slippery to grasp. So I must leave it alone for now. I am positive that things will continue to show themselves. I must trust in the now and my 5+1 senses to serve as a guide.

Out on the project the storm approaches. How appropriate.

I was fortunate to get to spend time with my cousin Gerry ahead of the Washburn family reunion on the 28th. We spent some time helping our Uncles with hay and picking black berries. Picking berries is great meditation if I truly consider the experience. Gerry and I would chat while picking and share lots of personal information. We did well as the berries were plentiful and ripe. We could pick a lot in a fairly short outing. I froze most of mine although one pie made it to the table briefly. It didn’t last very long!Eating seemed to be a big thing around the family reunion time. Not so good for my body but I tried to be moderate. Mosquitoes and deer flies harassed us severely while we were picking but we persevered through most of them.

A nice haul!

As July progressed it became obvious that Zane could not get time off to accompany us on our upcoming Quebec fishing trip. I don’t know who was more disappointed. Zane or I. I began assembling my gear in a pile in the kitchen at Camp Edith. Realizing that Zane wasn’t going was a bitter pill to swallow. He had gone on the fishing trips of 2015,2016, 2022,and 2023. He had changed immensely since being a boy of 10 that first trip to a young man of 18 last year. Such things are not lost on me and I pondered it often in the days before we were to leave. August 9th was our departure date and it was arriving quickly. Zane was obviously disappointed but there was nothing to be done about the situation. Adulthood was truly finding him with all its responsibilities and commitments. I was about to break a promise I had made myself while on a fly in fishing trip in 2013 when I was missing Zane greatly while I was gone to the bush country of eastern Quebec. I had vowed to never leave him home again if I went to the bush fishing. And I hadn’t. Zane had made his debut there in 2015 and despite his mother’s reservations he had thrived there. He took to walleye fishing like it was his calling and boated the two biggest walleye of the trip on the big waters of Lac Echouani while fishing with my friend and I. Those are precious MOONTABS of a time now past and other trips would follow. Each uniquely special and full of wonderful moments. Zane would continue to advance as a fisherman and I would spend much of my time netting fish for him. Always helping him get his gear in shape and his baits into the water. On a second trip to Lac Echouani in 2016 he would master the art of jigging walleye with these frozen minnows we had purchased at the outfitter. We called them “Fred Minnows” since a guy named Fred who worked at the outfitter recommended them. Zane would manage to catch the most walleye that trip. He beat out all three of us overall in numbers. Sure some of them were small! But walleye are walleye at the end of the day!

The proving grounds.

2017 would find me buried in projects and dealing with a failed marriage so there was no fishing trip. But I retired that November and the things underwent a huge change. Zane and I would tackle our quest for the Adirondack 46 high peaks in earnest in the summers of 2018 and 2019. Covid kept us from fishing in Canada in 2020 but we finished the high peaks in September that year. 2021 was busy camping with the newly purchased Airstream and our fishing was limited to the Adirondacks and home. But in 2022 we would return to Canada on a sudden whim after being asked by our friend if we would go back to Canada if he could secure a booking which he did. Zane would join us once again on the new waters of Lac Dumoine in western Quebec that August. It is the lake that inspired the five part blog series that included “The Solace Of The Bush”. Some of the most enjoyable blog writing that I have ever created in my opinion! And we would return there in 2023 but I only wrote one blog post about that trip. Too bad as it was an epic trip with impressive numbers of walleye caught and released. It’s never too late to resume the stories though. The stories are safely secured in numerous photographs and locked within my memories. As I traveled around Lac Dumoine last week those memories came flooding back. At night in the upstairs of our cabin that I had shared with Zane in 2023 it was eerily different without him. And my heart would grow heavy despite all the fun times I was having. I decided that he must return there with me in 2025 regardless of circumstances. Time will not wait for us forever. We will need to take charge of it and make it happen. For 2024 has been a year of tremendous change for me and I realize the importance of not waiting to go on adventures. So we shouldn’t and I hope we won’t.

2023. Lac Dumoine.

So this summer’s trip just ended yesterday and I am preparing to write about it’s highlights. But I felt the need to regress some and reflect on the past. What better way to move forward in the now? What better way to plan for the future? Because this summer one would be missing on the trip. One would be missed greatly during the trip. One would be absent from the photos. I can’t change that now but I can attempt to change what happens next if possible. That’s the message here. Dream and hope for tomorrow. A lot can happen in one year. A lot will happen. Of that I have no doubt. And how might we live our best lives? With wise decisions and carefully laid plans? We won’t always make the best decisions. But can we live with those things we decided? We have to regardless. It is a growing process after all is said and done. And we are all in different stages of our own personal growing seasons. One thing is most certain: my son loves the wild places and yearns to go there with me still. It is enough. I have returned with my internal batteries charged from a different energy source this time in some strange fashion. They charge differently away from the Adirondacks or at the farm property. The wilds of Canada are far different then here. Different roads and trails to follow. Different trees and mountains. That is the draw of adventure. There must be one final trip to Lac Dumoine before we branch out in new directions. The Canadian bush country is vast and mostly unknown to me. I will run out of time before I can explore it all. But that is the way of exploration. And who’s to say what’s possible beyond this moment? I am considering different options presently. Ones that will break away from my past methods and timelines. The big question is will I follow that path? It’s hard to say really. I must listen closely and choose wisely. Things may yet reveal themselves to me. For now I must regroup for awhile and reflect. ✍️

Acquiescence

July 9th has arrived hot and humid. Enter the days of work shorts and cutoff ratty tee shirts for me. The jackets and hoodies stashed for the time being but never too far from reach. The big news is our return to Camp Edith for some full time living again. Amy and I had done some work in the past few weeks cleaning and organizing the rather cluttered inside of the cottage ahead of a planned July 4th long weekend.Our hard work payed off!When the weather came in hot and calm we were well positioned to have a fun and relaxing time!We did continue to work on some miscellaneous interior organizing efforts however to enhance our small but cozy living space. But it would be the state of the outdoor space that would set my mind wandering and searching for answers to something that was haunting the recesses of my mind. What drives me so? Why the rollercoaster ride of emotion that has taken me so high then so low these past 6 months? And I have experienced every curve and twist in between those destinations along the way. The answer had come suddenly in a moment of perfect clarity. I had discovered the true meaning of the word acquiesce. As in reluctant acceptance of something without protest. But what had I accepted? And had I not protested? There was an answer and a place to face the future in all of it.Was I ready though? The answer would not find me at the Homestead property as you might expect but rather at Camp Edith. It’s rather complicated but simple at the same time.

July morning creeps over the main meadow.

If you recall from following my story I had left Camp Edith suddenly last September in a whirlwind to take up Airstream living at the Homestead project. The thrill of having running water there and the project itself was a draw that I couldn’t resist. Besides I had lived at camp since May anyway. The Airstream had sat idle since 2022. No surprise really my decision when focused in that light. But parts of that story are already sprinkled across these pages leading like a trail of breadcrumbs to this moment. And if I didn’t tell that story properly then that’s mine to consider. But what’s all this got to do with acquiesce? Nothing at that point. Things were about to change for me big time as those days of 2023 slowly ( quickly?) wound down. And I had felt something was wrong but didn’t heed my inner spirit warnings. Fatigue was finding me more and more then. I merely blamed my gathering years. No acquiescence there. But the universe had plans for me I realize now. I was still clinging to my old ways with the tenacity of a greying wolverine. Bad eating habits. Overindulging in beer and hard ciders on occasions that were becoming rather to common some weeks. Not all that problematic so they lay quietly close at hand robbing me of clarity and dulling my thoughts of a higher level of connection to my surroundings. But those old habits had taken time to develop and had become normalized to a degree. But I was lonely and prone to self destructive habits of work and play in a way that didn’t seem to identify as just that. One thing is most certainly true: in that mode of existence I am truly a force of purpose and drive. The work accomplished showed itself all around me. The tiny cabin leaped forward after my two week sojourn in the Adirondacks in October. And in my arteries the sleeping giant was about to awaken. Change was coming and I was blindly unaware of it.

Tiny cabin days in Autumn 2023.

There’s really no need for redundancy in retelling the details of my health situation last January. It’s already here on these pages in a post. I just desired to reflect on the differences between then and now. And the trials of my journey through time. The importance of all this lives in the direction I have taken. Steered as it were by universal energy to find a different way forward. Post January I was adjusting to my new situation. I was attempting to change my diet and gave up my alcohol for close to a month then. I was feeling pretty good but was struggling to a degree with things I couldn’t exactly explain. I can easily say that gratitude for my good fortune was my constant companion! I was happy to be whole and alive! I was staying busy and that always makes a difference in my day to day existence. Alone at night in the tiny cabin’s loft I continued in my manifesting of things that I wanted in my life.And the universe was listening and preparing to answer.

Home sweet home! Homestead 2024.

Amy would enter my reality in late January when I was in Saranac Lake volunteering for the Ice Palace construction. It would be late February before we would begin spending any time together. I could easily write an entire series of posts about our new journey together but our privacy is paramount. But she’s solidly within the posts of the past few months. With an improved diet, exercise,and an alcohol free lifestyle a shift began. Time in the Adirondacks has been a big part of this recent journey as well. And I have strayed far from my story! Where is the acquiescence? I might not get the words today. I will try though. So picture a very abandoned Camp Edith. Winterized in a hurry last fall. Packed up and closed up. Rather cluttered from the constant moving that has become my norm these past few years. I have enjoyed my transient lifestyle but it comes with a price at times. But it’s the outside around the camp where it really shows. Leaves everywhere from last years growth. They bury everything with a silent slow drop. Nature doesn’t do this on purpose it’s just the way of things. Left untouched they will cover up lots of our things left on the ground. And then there’s the growth of trees and brush around the camp. Much of the section in front of the camp can’t be maintained easily due to its steep terrain. Not to mention the poison ivy I need to avoid at all costs! I am super allergic to it! Subsequently we had lost most of our view of the lake from our yard and front porch gradually the past few years. Even the camp roof is being covered by nature. Moss grows on the shingles in the shaded areas trapping leaves and pine needles. There’s nothing new in any of this. However there’s extra cleanup from the salvage log event that occurred last fall. I was feeling a little overwhelmed this spring when we first stopped by Camp Edith. And I realize now that I have been avoiding being here because of the work that needed to be done. But Amy expressed an interest in spending time at camp so I agreed that we should! And I am slowly getting the outside areas brought into a useable state. That’s where acquiescence was discovered.

Welcome to the jungle!

The mosquitoes were a problem the moment we got to Camp Edith. They were hunkered down around the open section of the front porch. Shaded by the overgrowth down front they brought a bothersome war to us so I decided to fight back. I decided to tackle the overgrown area out in front of the camp where they were hiding out of the sun.I wore my hip boots and saw chaps to avoid the poison ivy. What an uncomfortable combination!😂I chose my mid length chainsaw for its horsepower and length. It was tricky cutting and safety was crucial. Once I started I cut nonstop until the clearing was completed. I was left quite the mess to clean up! The difference is huge though! Our view is back again and the mosquitoes have left for more settled locations. And where is the acquiescence in all this? It’s coming!

The view is back!

This morning I was out working on a section of lawn under the two huge maples where we park our vehicles here. They are truly massive and discard thousands of leaves each season. But they are stately and their shade is priceless! I have walked and lived under their presence all my life. Cleaning up under them is tedious and time consuming but is an annual event when we chose to open up camp. I haven’t devoted all that much time to lawn work but it’s becoming a priority now that the inside is under control. It was while working out under the big maples this morning that the word acquiesce came to me. I was thinking about music actually when I remembered the old song by the band Oasis. Acquiescence was part of their 1995 album “What’s The Story Morning Glory”. I hadn’t heard the song in years and the meaning of the word suddenly tied things together for me! What was I struggling with all these months? My reluctance to accept my new situation. My health changes. Protested in mood swings and anger at times. I realized that I was being ungrateful at my good fortune . Things had changed for the good so why was I struggling? Was my anger due to my decision to quit drinking to aid in my health journey? That has been a challenge after years of engaging in that past time. But the resulting mental clarity has been refreshing.Was I frustrated by lack of energy that sometimes plagues my days? Or my ongoing knee issue? That’s being addressed properly I believe. So what is it exactly? The answer that suddenly came to me might be hard for you to fathom. I realized that I was protesting nature in some strange manner. And that it was futile! And it’s all connected to my health journey. Probably lost you now!

Always the leaves!

Acceptance that nature is far more powerful and lasting then I will ever be might be a difficult thing to even consider but it’s true. Everything that I own that is subject to the outdoors is under the control of nature. Rack up those leaves! Mow that grass! Cut the brush! And on and on it goes. Take a break and see where you land. Time passes. Seasons pass. Nature doesn’t take a break even when I need to do so. What was I feeling? Mortality? Perhaps. Fatigue? At times. Something beyond my comprehension that was showing itself suddenly in my new situation? Was the shift of new found direction to much for me to steer into? Acceptance is key to this moment in time. Acceptance that I can’t ever beat nature at this annual dance of seasonal cycle. So I simply just need to find the best way to flow with the season. It’s a balance thing. A recent post that I listened to spoke of the fifth dimension. It’s an interesting consideration once I realized that I have lived most of my life living in the third. My connections to nature are the bridge to the fifth dimension. Ascension becomes the new word as acquiescence merely becomes a word to reflect upon. As in rising to a new level of consciousness. No I am not on drugs or alcohol! Rather the contrary. I need further clarity to embrace the change. To ascend to a higher place in harmony with nature will be painful it appears. For me especially. It may be hard for my loved ones to understand. It will present grand challenges. And what exactly waits in that higher state of connection? That’s the mystery and the draw. But there are those who understand and encourage my efforts. Learning never ends I feel. This is to be the year of tremendous change. Further growth I hope. And while writing this the lawn hasn’t cleaned itself. Back to it soon. There’s no hurry really. If I don’t finish anything will it truly matter in a larger picture? No course not! Time will pass regardless as will the season. I accept with no further protest if I am truly ascending. And you are far from home in the forests of Tazmania. I am very much alive in this moment. It is enough. ✍️

And The Wheels Turn

Day two of summer has arrived! Summer solstice burned in hot and humid yesterday. It’s been a very hot week and very typical for this time of June. I have spent most of June (to date) up in Saranac Lake working on a capital project on Amy’s house. After deliberating the scope and timeline an agreement was made with Amy’s carpenter friend Peter to do the project ourselves with me being an assistant. We started at the tail end of May demoing the old deck. Then the rebuild.It’s been fun and challenging! Amy’s choice of natural white cedar for the deck sealed the deal for me way before we even started. Way back in February when I arrived at her place to rent for the night for the first time she had shown me the project. She had mentioned the white cedar then. I was sold and time would lead my hands to the project. But not before the subtle dances of courtship followed a certain soundtrack. Enter the many hours traveling back and forth to see each other. The distance has been no hardship for either of us. The mix of time spent in the Adirondacks and the valley has a certain flair to it! And the wheels turned.

Safety first! That drop off is killer!

Where’s the time go besides covering those miles? Health concerns,procedures, and doctor visits eat through the hours like ravenous dogs. My knee situation is one ongoing problem. There’s more but the point is not to showcase my health struggles but rather acknowledge the investment of time it takes to overcome them. This has been a year of huge change for me. I stand pounds lighter and healthier these days. I have lost weight and overhauled my diet thanks in part to my wellness coach! Fate would bring Amy into my life at a time when I was needing change. And change has come in waves for me. And I ride an imaginary surf board at times. High on top,sitting at a dead calm, and sometimes tossed under kissing the coral. It’s all a little surreal at times and I feel like a bystander in some strange manner when I wake sometimes at 3am suddenly. But I am lucky! Blessed with the simplest of things when I need them most. The connections to nature can be loosened a little at times but fortunately never broken. I try to keep myself surrounded by nature as much as possible! And those little things found in nature become huge and meaningful in the passing of days. Perhaps I have learned to look for them better. My inner spirit batteries need a good charging to keep the balance! It’s working well and I continue to work on becoming a healthier me. It’s taking some time. And the wheels turn.

Eastern pond hawk visitor. A small wonder.

I have truly enjoyed my time in the village of Saranac Lake! Staying at Amy’s while working has been great. It keeps me off the road and helps me focus on the project. We sometimes get out onto the Rail Trail to ride our bikes for some relaxation time. The sight of the mountains always pumps me up! We have done some paddling as well on some of the nearby ponds and lakes. One morning while driving back from nearby Bloomingdale after picking up some lumber I was struck by the magnitude of the moment! Here I was! Right where I had sometimes envisioned myself as a future me. Living and working right in the village.Of course I could never have envisioned all of it! Too many things had to change first. And if it seems like I am in a different place these days on my journey it’s because I am! I am doing my best to move forward on this new path. Out beyond that crossroad I headed down in February. And the clock enters my schedule in new ways. It turns with the new season. All the extra daylight sure changes things but it’s easy to take it for granted since it comes on so gradual.That’s part of what I always attempt to capture here. There’s so much to see and do when summer hits. And if you are wondering. The wheels turn.

The Slow Turn as summer starts.

We will soon be done with phase one projects at Amy’s and take a little break there. We are about to open Camp Edith and get it ready for some summer times! Summer will also see me returning to some of my invasive species volunteering work. It’s all being placed on the calendar in neatly arranged time slots. Here at the Homestead there are things to keep up with every week. The small lawn grows quickly! We also have a tiny garden out by the silo. A fun little “throw and grow” project that we are experimenting with here. So time is balanced between two places these days. It’s working though. Things continue to get checked off the lists each week. We are due for a new series of adventures soon! It’s taking some planning to assimilate into each other’s lives we have learned. It’s no surprise or no big epiphany. It’s simply a new reality to share together. So the wheels turn! Between the valley and the Adirondacks. In the Adirondacks and in the valley. And all sorts of destinations in between! It’s all creating a unique set of MOONTABS! ✍️

The tree of resilience.

The Brown Ghosts

June has crept upon us and there’s been lots going on! Writing hasn’t been one of those things though! I am so busy living life and doing things that I never write about those things in the present recently. But playing catch-up is a great way to reflect on the weeks that have sped past! May turned out to be an activity filled month that’s for sure! It’s important to note that the final day of April was spent trolling for brown trout on Lake Ontario with my friend Gary and his son. It’s pretty much a full day commitment and a long drive but super fun! We went a couple of times and came home with some nice fish on each occasion. The brown trout were tasty to a degree but will never become my favorite! I much prefer perch and walleye! But that’s another story altogether! Something much tastier would soon be filling our days!

The cliffs along Lake Ontario.

I spent part of the first day of May working at the IRLC Ferrone Preserve with a friend and former coworker. We were joined by a fellow (Win) who had recently been hired by IRLC. One of his jobs is to develop a trail system on the 100 acre parcel that was donated to the land trust a couple years ago. It’s a very unique piece of property that’s a little unusual for the Town of Macomb. It resembles land that sits across Black Lake in the Hammond area. There are several very interesting features there that will be featured in a post at some point. For now I will leave a picture of one of the rock formations!

Gracie scopes out the arch formation.

We had received a decent amount of rain in April. The muskrats had added to their huts several times ahead of large rain events. An interesting phenomenon that I sometimes write about here.May began with some increasingly warmer temperatures so I decided to start looking for some morels. I had been sent a photo of some small morels that a friend had found in the Waddington area on May first. I was curious to see if any were out yet in Macomb so I went out for a little scouting mission. I went to a location that had yielded some in 2023 and began finding a few! It was on! Definitely time to search in earnest!

Found them!

I searched several areas but most of those I found came from the one location. But that never means much when the season is just starting. I picked a few leeks to add to my foraging adventure and cleaned my prizes for dinner! Yum! Zane would join me in the hunt a couple days later and our searching brought in a decent amount of fresh morels! We also foraged chives and more leeks. Zane made a chive and leek dip that we ate with crackers. Strong but delicious! I used the morels to top off grilled cheese burgers. They were so incredibly good!

Morel cheese burger!

I stayed busy that week sawing a few pine logs and putting lumber away to dry. I spent more time gathering a few morels that I usually ate with my dinner but I put a few in the fridge to save. Amy was coming down that Friday to forage with me for a couple days and I wanted to be sure to have some for her to try. It was nice to be getting some salvage logs done and taking time to enjoy the morel season while living at the farm. There were numerous other things that needed my attention as well and the days flew! I scouted out a section of ridge below a spot where I had found 14 morels one afternoon and was happy to see some nice big blondes there! I decided to use them as a training mission to get Amy accustomed to finding them. When she arrived I wasted no time getting her onto the morels! She took right to the foraging and found the big blondes easily. We hit some other locations before heading back to prepare them for dinner that evening. We found over 20 morels before stopping and we still would have all day Saturday to forage!

Foraging headquarters!

Saturday would find us up on my friend Gary’s property and we began finding morels shortly after we started searching. We hit the sections of woods around his meadows until about noon when it began raining rather hard. Our morning count was around 49. Back at the Homestead we washed and prepped our finds.Insects love to move inside the mushrooms! Especially ants!We got our rain soaked apparel dried out by the wood stove. We would eventually find another twenty something morels that afternoon before dinner. Morel cheeseburgers were again the main course and I soon realized how many morels I had cooked that week! Amy set some aside to take home to dehydrate for winter. We had been very successful! Life was good!

Nice haul!

I didn’t know it at the time but that Saturday would be the end of morel season for us. It was time to take the sawmill up to my friend’s in Winthrop that Monday and the next weekend was a travel weekend. But we had been so very successful overall! Our final season count totaled around 173 morels! A couple dozen had been left in the forest to rot as we had found them too late to salvage them. And just like that the search for the brown ghosts of the forest concluded. But we had made special memories! MOONTABS as you already know. There’s nothing like the search for them really. Brush and ticks never seem to deter us! Amy actually found a tick on herself when she hit the shower that Saturday night. Luckily barely imbedded in her skin.It all seems like a blur now and it was only one month ago! But we have lived busy lives during that month. That’s how I choose to live in these days of retirement. Always moving and pushing forward. The time of the morels was not missed fortunately. It was a time that I thoroughly enjoyed! Eating morels about 6 times in one week! Cooking outside in the outdoor kitchen whenever possible. Life on the Homestead is rewarding and full. Each day full of promise and hope. It is enough!

Outdoor kitchen living!