Why Have I Stayed?

Posted on January 28, 2025February 2, 2025 by Greg Washburn

January has moved right along but that’s understandable as I have maintained a rather full schedule. I just worked my final day on the Ice Palace project in the Village Of Saranac Lake, New York yesterday. I was able to spend more days volunteering there this year but I will follow up with a featured story of my time there in the future. It’s worthy of one. Another post worthy topic is the work I did logging with my former neighbor on January 15th and 16th. It’s a story best suited to compliment my Run Of The Mill series at some point. Today I am rather entranced by some muses on winter so I think this post will be justified highlighting some of those thoughts! It all started on the way home late yesterday afternoon. Two hours of driving home from Saranac Lake gives a person plenty of time to think!

I left the village around 3pm yesterday and headed down Route 3 like usual on bare,salted roads. Somehow a car had plowed into some guard rails several miles before the Village Of Tupper Lake. Strange as the road was completely bare! Much later on during my drive I left Route 3 in the Town of Fine to head west on Route 58. This takes me to Gouverneur where I take a series of roads that lead me to the Homestead. Route 58 has many open sections where farm meadows come down to meet the road. The wind had picked up and snow was blowing into the road in places. I remained vigilant as the bare road was deceiving at times. Snowy patches would suddenly appear and I would inherently slow down to navigate across them. My 4 studded tires give me excellent traction but there is a limit to any set of tires with the right conditions. Near the Village Of Edwards a car had slid off a snowy corner in an open spot. Good fortune for the driver as he hit nothing expect the ditch full of snow. He was about to be towed out as I went past. The wind was intense as I neared Gouverneur. After a quick stop for groceries, I continued on to the Homestead on increasingly snowy patches of road. Zane was there and had the wood stove going which was a welcome sight to me! The wind was howling across the main meadow and hitting the cabin full force. It was great to be off the roads! We had plenty of food and firewood! We were set for whatever happened you hoped! But before I could settle in I had to disassemble the Chop Shop tent that covers the outside tools. It had blown loose from its corner posts and was in the process of destroying itself. Luckily my tie down anchors were frozen into the ground and my ropes were strong nylon material. After some cursing and wrestling the tent was safely flat and secured. The tools themselves were now exposed but I didn’t bother trying to cover them in the gale force winds. I grabbed some extra firewood from the cabin’s front lean to woodshed and headed into the warm, inviting interior. Life was good!

Sometime after dark it began to snow while the wind continued to whip against the cabin walls. We enjoyed a simple dinner of hot turkey sandwiches with gravy that I was able to quickly prepare in our temporary makeshift kitchen. This is the second winter of having a makeshift kitchen and this one is slightly different then last year’s. The new addition is now open to the original cabin and heated. It’s full of stored construction things at the moment. Tools and screws mostly. All work has been sidelined lately given all the other volunteering. I have a cot set up for sleeping downstairs when Zane is home. He occupies the loft for hanging out and sleeping. It’s very warm up there! I passed the evening watching a movie on my tablet. I don’t have a tv in the downstairs of the cabin. It’s not necessary really and I often read. A quick look out the window as the wind continued its onslaught showed a decent snowstorm in progress. It was a good night to be hunkered down! We could stay warm even if the power failed. That’s something I had wanted in my cabin plan.

I went to bed fairly early but got up around 12:30 am to put more firewood in the stove. Outside it was still blowing and snowing hard. The snow looked like it was accumulating but it was difficult to tell as it was really swirling around out there! By morning I had put wood into the stove two more times. It was 9 degrees with a rather brisk breeze giving a minus 2 degree windchill according to my phone’s weather app. The sky was dawning clear and bright though. Outside the expanses of untouched snow resembled a giant art canvas. Nothing stirred except for a few birds visiting the feeder behind the new addition. Zane needed to leave and but needed me to plow the driveway first. We had gotten around 10” of new powder snow and there were scattered drifts around the vehicles and in front of the cabin. Zane plugged in the tractor’s block heater for me. Without it , the chances of it starting were questionable. The tractor is kept in the bottom of the Big Red barn out of the weather. During the colder months I keep anti fuel gel additive in its diesel tank at all times. All important steps that help us deter the winter problems that might arise. Keeping the tractor functioning is key to surviving winter.

The Main Meadow. Post snow storm this morning.

I plowed snow for a long time before I finally got everything cleared. I did a thorough job on the driveway and parking areas. This was only the second time that I had needed to plow this winter! I can’t complain about that! I also plowed up to the warehouse and made a large parking area there as well. I also plowed behind the cabin by the woodshed as we will be in need of firewood soon. The supply of hardwood slabs stored in the upper woodshed continue to disappear. given the rate that we burn them.It’s time to get to the forest for some winter wood firewood cutting. I plan to skid trees log length right to the woodshed to save time. We did it last winter and it worked well. I broke out the tractor road to the upper meadows beyond the gap ridge and skidded down a log that I had left behind last winter. It’s red elm and should dry quickly once cut and split. We have plenty of snow for skidding logs but not so much to cripple moving around with the tractor. I need to install it’s front tire chains though. That really helps its traction.During sugaring having the tire chains on is usually a necessity.

It was truly a beautiful January day with blue skies and a warm sun when I was out of the wind. Icicles were melting off the cabin as I worked to bank it with snow to help keep the floors warmer. There’s more of that to do depending on the weather forecast. I decided I had enough firewood for another night and mentally dedicated Wednesday for a firewood day. It looks like we might get more snow tonight. Did I make a good decision? Time will tell. I love being outdoors but had spent enough time out I decided by 1:30 pm. Tomorrow was another day and I was happy with my accomplishments. While I was out and about on the tractor I noticed very few signs of life on the surface of the new snow. I spotted a few squirrel tracks in the sugarbush and those of a weasel. The weasel had come from the sugarbush over to the big slab wood pile next to the sugar house. It had gone into the sugar house and then out the far side.No doubt hunting mice for dinner. I could visualize it’s tiny white form hopping through the fresh snow. The winter white ermine that is brown in the other seasons is a lethal hunter! I wondered if it had caught its dinner? It moved on at any rate heading through the woods to somewhere. It’s tiny form edible to an owl or hawk if caught in the open. Not even hunters are invincible when larger predators occupy the same territory. These are hungry time I suspect. A time of great energy expenditure in the snowy,frigid conditions of deep winter. But rodents are plentiful it seemed last fall at least. And good hunters probably manage just fine. All this as darkest comes again and suddenly cloudy skies where the wind has picked up again. Inside the tiny cabin the hungry wood stove demands constant fuel. But we have it ready and inside for the night. My own body will demand fuel later. A hot dinner from the makeshift kitchen will take some time to prepare but will be satisfying next to the wood stove. And an interesting pattern of thoughts had presented themselves to me today as I took what winter had brought us into stride. And a most intriguing question. Why do we stay here in this cold,frozen place?

The hunter left it’s sign. A weasel ( ermine) leaves a most obvious set of tracks.

I first asked the question this morning as I put on layers of heavy winter clothing before plowing snow. Wool socks over regular socks into gripping rubber boots well suited for snow. High and flexible they are a winter stable. I wear my rabbit fur Bomber hat for working typically reserving my muskrat hat for more leisurely type activities although I usually wore it working on the Ice Palace. Heavy gloves are a must for my hands. All this gear takes up space in a house and takes time to don! This morning inside the super frigid, unheated barn I had stepped onto a very cold tractor that started with a whiny protest. Why do we stay when it’s so much more difficult to do even simple things? Why do we stay needing to move mountains of snow each winter? Why do we stay when it takes extra energy for everything? Fuel for snow removal equipment for our homes and highways. Fuel for our bodies for shoveling snow and wading through it. Winter exacts a higher cost in all types of energy. Fuel to heat our homes and businesses most certainly . It’s all rather perplexing when you really consider it. Wouldn’t it be easier to leave with the summer birds and head south? So I asked myself again: why do we stay? I think I know why I have stayed.

Thinking back it’s rather obvious really. I stayed as a child because home was where my parents chose to live. Home was here in this four season part of the world.It’s what I knew and I never thought or needed to question it. I was taken care of and taught how to dress for winter. Fortunately I had a family who could afford me all the attire I needed for winter. Winters came and went as I grew up. I never thought about leaving. My family never traveled to faraway tropical settings. We stayed here and tackled each winter like icy warriors going into battle with the elements. Things weren’t always easy and things sometimes went wrong. Frozen pipes and frozen equipment that refused to work would impend winter tasks severely. We endured some very cold weather. Minus 20 below and sometimes colder. Why did we stay? We stayed because our jobs and schools were here. Our families were here often as not. Grandparents and siblings. Our homes were here. Our farms and property. Perhaps our livestock as well. That’s why we stayed.But this story must return to a more personal journey for me to tell it properly. For I assume many things about other people. This is my story and maybe some of yours.

Why did I stay? The childhood part is pretty self explanatory don’t you think?But when offered a chance to head off to distant colleges in warmer states after high school? What was the answer to that. And after college? Why did I want to find employment here and make a home here? Why did I seek out like minded women and desire to share time with them here? That’s a complicated story line for me and one that will need to remain somewhat hazy for the moment. For it is a lengthy tale with many turns and twists. Difficult to fathom at times even for myself. Perhaps I avoid some truths there that I might rather not face. They aren’t dark or filled with shame deeds. They simply deal with large passages of time that has gone by now. Time. That subject that I promised by written intention to visit differently on this page in 2025. Many of my stories are from the past but when told properly won’t revolve around time as a central topic. And I have strayed from my subject as I am prone to do at times. Let’s cut to the chase.

I suppose that I could write a very lengthy manuscript on this subject as I examine it further. But a summary might be best for the moment. A glimpse through a window that might be a door. I can easily tell you more reasons why I chose to stay in this frozen winter landscape hen ones why I shouldn’t. It’s really quite simple actually. This area has always been my home. I never lived anywhere else. Sure I have traveled south in the winter and spent Easter breaks there. Many times over the years. And I suddenly realize that there’s a much larger story within this story. To truly answer my own questions I must ask more of them to deliver the answers. So consider this part one of a two part story. I have presented a case against winter here at times. Given it an almost criminal element. But winter is innocent until proven guilty. And with Mother Nature defending her seasons there will be no winning this case. After all ,we humans have chosen to live here and face winter each season. I think I am spinning in circles here. Time to rest and deliberate. It is enough. ✍️

The Icewalker’s Plunge

Posted on January 14, 2025January 14, 2025 by Greg Washburn

Mid January finds with a small amount of snow on the ground but nothing major. 6”-8” of powder snow isn’t much for this time of year really. Last year on this very day we had a snow storm that dropped several inches on us after a warm spell had left us with mostly bare ground. I was recovering from my artery incident then and wasn’t pushing myself too hard. Walking mostly but we managed a few other tasks around the cabin. It was a new chapter for me then.

I have been balancing my time between the valley and the Adirondacks since the end of fall to now as I mentioned recently in my last post. The biggest news recently is that with the help of the Amish carpenters we finally finished the siding on the cabin last week. Some soffit work remains but the weatherbeaten tarpaper is now all covered. Zane and I had sawn plenty of siding fortunately so there was no danger running out. We also removed some old rusty roofing from my Uncles barn up the road at the property where I had my first house in 1983. We repaired the lean to roofing boards and some structural damage before adding 4 sheets of new metal. The old metal matches some that my Dad had repurposed from the old garage that used to be here before the 2012 house fire. He used it on the sugar house here and I may need it also for the cabin. I started out just wanting some old metal to put on the wall behind the new wood stove in the cabin above the Drury brick hearth. But then I decided that I want old metal on the ceiling in the new addition of the cabin. It remains to be seen if we will have enough to do all our work. It’s stashed outside and needs a very thorough cleaning. Maybe I will flip it upside down and show the underside which has no rust. The design on the metal is what makes it special. A wave type pattern repeats itself a long the length of the 2’ wide siding. It’s very unique! We had a couple of rather cold days last week while doing our outdoor work but we soldiered through despite!

The repairs after the removal of the old roofing

By last Thursday I decided that I needed a day to just catch up on a few things around the cabin. The carpenters had finished their work here that they had time for by Wednesday afternoon. So I hauled some firewood and stocked up the cabin woodshed. Keeping firewood stocked for the cabin keeps me rather busy actually especially on cold days like we had last week. It’s noteworthy that I had just installed a ventilation fan in the loft floor of the cabin and ducted it into the new addition. With more insulation in place it has been heating well since. The loft is much cooler as a result. Before it was way too hot up there most nights while the back portion of the cabin stayed rather cool. I think things will balance out well now. As for the firewood, I have been hauling it down from the old granary up behind the barn where it was stored last spring. Super dry hardwood slab wood from the sawmill project at my friend Gregger’s last spring. It just needs a bit of splitting here and there. The mixed cherry and yellow birch make a super hot fire. Before too long we will need to cut and haul in some dry red elm that’s burn ready. Our current supply of firewood won’t last until spring.

By Thursday afternoon I was ready for an outdoor outing so I decided to snowshoe down Beaver Creek if the ice was ok. There barely enough snow to need snowshoes but I wore them anyway.Upon reaching the edge of the marsh where the grass is thick, I quickly realized that the ice wasn’t all that great. I struggled out through the bogs breaking through in several shallow spots before reaching the bare open sections. But even here the ice was very thin and weak! It wasn’t looking good but I didn’t want to backtrack across the crappy bog part so I pressed on. Slowly and cautiously, I might add! The ice was fickle and unpredictable. Some spots were ok but my tapping beaver sticks would detect hollow sounding spots below the snow covered surface. Death traps I call them. I managed to skirt several tricky spots and reached a deeper wider section of the main channel. After one rather close call I chose a shortcut on a smaller side channel that held me up rather well. I soon reached the area we call “The Deep Hole”. It seemed like decent ice but was slushy on top. A sure sign of thin ice being pushed down by the weight of the snow. I became even more cautious and my forward progress became even slower. I noticed an active beaver lodge and was happy to see them occupying the area. They come and go from this spot on occasion but continue to occupy it mostly. I knew that I could never hope to get across the main beaver dam that spans the creek here. It’s a challenge at times even with much better ice. I approached the dam and laughed when the dog almost broke through where she was walking next to it. I was trying to get close enough to what we call the “Big Cliff” to get photos of some large icicles hanging from a section of it. Without warning I suddenly plunged through the ice with both snowshoes! There was no cracking first or anything suspicious! Just a death trap breakthrough! I was held up by beaver stick walking sticks fortunately and for a second was expecting the shock of cold water filling my boots! But I lunged up onto my knees and somehow avoided getting wet! My nylon hiking pants were so tight around my boots that no water got in! My knees got a little wet but that was nothing. Snow on ice is the great insulator and the death traps are invisible from above. Even the tapping and probing of the beaver sticks fails me at times. Just one of my many plunges over the years I suppose.

At this point I lost my desire to ice walk any further! I cautiously and nervously backtracked my way to a channel that got me safely ashore in the stand of white cedars known as “ The Cedars”. This tiny grove has been here my entire life. Never really getting any larger or much smaller. Sometimes the beaver cut a few and years ago we cut out some big dead ones for salvage. The Cedars seems ageless although I didn’t see any of the tamaracks that once lived alongside the cedars. Perhaps they are all gone. The cedars contains a couple of boggy spring holes that never freeze. I used to trap here as a young boy for raccoon. In winter I trapped ermine under the shelter of the cedars in small cubby sets. I used wax paper to keep my traps from freezing. I once caught a red fox here also. My ermine traps were empty most of the time but I didn’t care. I became familiar with the area and loved its remote feeling of winter beauty out of sight of the road and the farm buildings. I was destined to desire to explore this area and all that lay beyond it was I grew a bit older. The marsh was my classroom and I was an interested student who showed up frequently. And the spirit of the Icewalker was forged here. Not of molten metal but of ice and snow. Adversity would thrill me here. Wet feet and cold hands. Frosty cheeks and nose at times. Those were cold winters. Some nights my Father would not let me run my small trap line because of the cold and approaching darkness. But I would return soon and resume my frosty activities. There are many memories here in the marsh of the big gorge. Perhaps that’s why I return each winter.

After a rest and the reminiscing, I tackled the cut up the side of steep ravine that would take me towards the Homestead cabin where the warm wood stove awaited. I stopped at one point and gazed back at the marsh. I was disappointed that the ice had not been better for traveling. And I pondered several things then. How many times had I stood in this exact spot over the years? How different the winters are now. How much older I had become. And how the draw to run the ice and call myself the Icewalker had never diminished. How long would I try? How many winters would gift me the opportunity? Such thoughts became too much then so I chose something far different to break the serious moment. I spoke with my best Arnold Schwarzenegger imitation downhill towards the marsh: “I’ll Be Back!”. But no one heard me but the dog and a few disinterested winter birds. But that was fine. I know that I will be back if good fortune and good health continue to favor me. And I will play the game of staying on top of the ice as I move forward to explore the further reaches of the gorge of the big creek called Beaver. I have no fear there. Just respect for this beautiful and enchanting place. I have traveled the ice here more times than I can remember now. What adventures I have had! I will be watching and waiting for signs of better ice. Then I will set out once again! And not forgetting the Icewalker’s motto: The distance in must be traveled out!” It is enough! ✍️