The Spin

August has sped by in a blur for me. Reflections on the passage of time never get old for me! With my birthday just past now it’s no surprise that I would want to write about it a little. Speaking of writing and little it’s been just over two weeks since my last post. Not to mention two weeks since we returned from our Canadian adventure. Work has been my recent adventure honestly. The methane digester project continues to ramp up and it’s where I occupy my time Monday through Friday. It’s a great job out in corn country near Madrid. The amount of crops that are and will be harvested there defies my imagination. Everything is super sized and in motion constantly. Especially the manure! I view it as energy now since entering the realms of methane digesting technology. Unfortunately for me I still don’t know exactly all the systems fit together. My young apprentice coworker and I bounce around the project knocking out various tasks to get the electrical power systems in place. That part I understand without question. My work since I became an apprentice in 1982 has been revolving around that occupation. And though many things have advanced through technology we still move electrical current the same old way! Copper cables to carry the current! Familiarity breeds efficiently for the installers! My time on the job grows short as my allowed work period ends September 15th. This project will need to finish without me!

Transformer pad underground conduits on a cool, rainy day.

With work being the central focus I don’t get much else accomplished it seems. After a busy day it’s all that I can do to get dinner on the table and a few other chores done. My energy is not without limits it appears as I hit 62 years of age. I have been spending my weekends doing a few miscellaneous things but nothing major. I was tapped out upon my return from Quebec! I hit the job site that first Monday back pretty rested and ready to roll. It’s all about a cash grab now.Selling my time for money and fringe benefits that will pay off in the months that follow. A paradox of sorts. The grand trade off as summer passes and the first signs of autumn appear. And there lies the dance with the devil . Time can’t be bought back. One thing is most certain: retiring at age 55 was one of the best moves of my life!

The corn fields rise to the sun.

So what’s the spin? Me mostly, trying to keep up with my self imposed pace. The Homestead looks like it’s deserted these days with Zane and I living at Camp Edith. He recently moved in with me which has been nice when I manage to see him. Our schedules don’t exactly align at the moment. And then there’s the changes in my private personal life. But that’s another story for another day. My return to the valley has ushered in change out beyond the crossroads where I was traveling at high speed. A sudden detour ever watchful for the road that might lead me to my last exit. The song “The Last Exit” by Still Corners always gets me thinking about time and where I am heading. Spun up and spiraling? Is that a part of ascension? Who knows really? And this is far from being any sort of connection to nature!

3am sleepless moment. Worth it!

The uncut hayfields of the Homestead serve to remind me of my private life on hold while I work. Back in the day I would push myself with an intensity that bordered on obsession trying to keep up with everything. The Homestead cabin project will hopefully resume sometime this fall when work ends for me. In the meantime the land sits idle. I am rather well staged for the project though with several key things in place already. Logs, the new wood stove, and stored lumber wait for their time to be brought to life. All this will be easier for me with the cooler temperatures of autumn. Living at Camp Edith is the simple solution at the moment. The Airstream sits idle also. Safely stored in the warehouse and waiting for a plan. Held in trust so to speak. And if this is a game, am I winning or losing? Or am I playing it as best I can? I remain positive most days. That is the best way forward and things continue to happen to guide my feet. The inner spirit whispers patience when patience is hard to embrace at times. Things are showing themselves. Acquiescence right? I will look back on this moment at some point and reflect upon it.

Methane flares rise like metal stalks.

So this rather confusing stroll through the forests of Tazmania may not enlighten you very much in the grand scheme of things. Let it serve as a reminder that life is not perfect or without challenges. It is not painless and easy. Growth takes energy. And the clock tells me that it’s time to prepare for a new workday. But it’s Friday and a long weekend approaches. I have made some plans to explore a new section of the Adirondacks. An adventure awaits in nature. The work will be forgotten for a moment and the spin may slow. I made the spin in the first place. And momentum can be hard to stop if you chose not to touch the brakes and always hit the gas.✍️

One Would Be Missing

Wow what a summer! So much for recent blogs! I don’t even know where to begin really. Life changes fast sometimes and it’s difficult to keep up at times. But we all live within the same 24 hours don’t we when you really stop to think about it? And isn’t everyone rather busy with something? My situation has changed dramatically since my last post. I spent some of July in the Adirondacks but was asked if I would return to work in mid July. I accepted and stepped on the job on July 17th. I liked the project immediately as it turned out. I was assigned to a methane digester project on a large farm outside of Madrid, New York. It’s much different then most projects I have worked. Why work when I am already retired? Money of course! As in extra for travel and things like that. Yes it ties up my time and occupies my days but the perks are worth it considering the short time I will be there ultimately.So I have made my decision and will stand behind it now. I remain loyal to my employer of 3 years now although I had almost no work in 2023. Loyalty is important to a guy like me. I take it very seriously. No matter whether it’s work,family,or in a relationship. So work has been interfering with my life to use an old joke of mine!😂

Tazman hits the site!

Another big reason for returning to the valley has been Zane. He’s been working himself this summer. He got a job with NYS Parks and Recreation at a campground near here. It’s his first real job and it’s been good for him. But his schedule doesn’t align with mine so we don’t get much time together. That’s difficult for both of us. There are other reasons for my return to living full time in the valley but they are of a more complicated and personal nature. Connected to the universal flow of energy in some sort of natural progression it appears. Not easily described even if I were so inclined. Suffice it to say that the winds of change have been blowing and I have been surfing some heavy waves. All this is rather confusing and sudden but necessary as I struggle with some growing pains in my journey for ascension. Internal turmoil be challenging at times. What does all this have to do with connections to nature? More then you might consider actually. For my personal challenges loosen my connection to nature and I can become off balance. Out of synch and out of focus. Thus a lack of words to share. Life isn’t perfect right? I never give up trying to make the best possible decisions for myself. After all, my own survival is paramount in my desire to protect those I care about. There’s a connection to nature perhaps but it’s a bit slippery to grasp. So I must leave it alone for now. I am positive that things will continue to show themselves. I must trust in the now and my 5+1 senses to serve as a guide.

Out on the project the storm approaches. How appropriate.

I was fortunate to get to spend time with my cousin Gerry ahead of the Washburn family reunion on the 28th. We spent some time helping our Uncles with hay and picking black berries. Picking berries is great meditation if I truly consider the experience. Gerry and I would chat while picking and share lots of personal information. We did well as the berries were plentiful and ripe. We could pick a lot in a fairly short outing. I froze most of mine although one pie made it to the table briefly. It didn’t last very long!Eating seemed to be a big thing around the family reunion time. Not so good for my body but I tried to be moderate. Mosquitoes and deer flies harassed us severely while we were picking but we persevered through most of them.

A nice haul!

As July progressed it became obvious that Zane could not get time off to accompany us on our upcoming Quebec fishing trip. I don’t know who was more disappointed. Zane or I. I began assembling my gear in a pile in the kitchen at Camp Edith. Realizing that Zane wasn’t going was a bitter pill to swallow. He had gone on the fishing trips of 2015,2016, 2022,and 2023. He had changed immensely since being a boy of 10 that first trip to a young man of 18 last year. Such things are not lost on me and I pondered it often in the days before we were to leave. August 9th was our departure date and it was arriving quickly. Zane was obviously disappointed but there was nothing to be done about the situation. Adulthood was truly finding him with all its responsibilities and commitments. I was about to break a promise I had made myself while on a fly in fishing trip in 2013 when I was missing Zane greatly while I was gone to the bush country of eastern Quebec. I had vowed to never leave him home again if I went to the bush fishing. And I hadn’t. Zane had made his debut there in 2015 and despite his mother’s reservations he had thrived there. He took to walleye fishing like it was his calling and boated the two biggest walleye of the trip on the big waters of Lac Echouani while fishing with my friend and I. Those are precious MOONTABS of a time now past and other trips would follow. Each uniquely special and full of wonderful moments. Zane would continue to advance as a fisherman and I would spend much of my time netting fish for him. Always helping him get his gear in shape and his baits into the water. On a second trip to Lac Echouani in 2016 he would master the art of jigging walleye with these frozen minnows we had purchased at the outfitter. We called them “Fred Minnows” since a guy named Fred who worked at the outfitter recommended them. Zane would manage to catch the most walleye that trip. He beat out all three of us overall in numbers. Sure some of them were small! But walleye are walleye at the end of the day!

The proving grounds.

2017 would find me buried in projects and dealing with a failed marriage so there was no fishing trip. But I retired that November and the things underwent a huge change. Zane and I would tackle our quest for the Adirondack 46 high peaks in earnest in the summers of 2018 and 2019. Covid kept us from fishing in Canada in 2020 but we finished the high peaks in September that year. 2021 was busy camping with the newly purchased Airstream and our fishing was limited to the Adirondacks and home. But in 2022 we would return to Canada on a sudden whim after being asked by our friend if we would go back to Canada if he could secure a booking which he did. Zane would join us once again on the new waters of Lac Dumoine in western Quebec that August. It is the lake that inspired the five part blog series that included “The Solace Of The Bush”. Some of the most enjoyable blog writing that I have ever created in my opinion! And we would return there in 2023 but I only wrote one blog post about that trip. Too bad as it was an epic trip with impressive numbers of walleye caught and released. It’s never too late to resume the stories though. The stories are safely secured in numerous photographs and locked within my memories. As I traveled around Lac Dumoine last week those memories came flooding back. At night in the upstairs of our cabin that I had shared with Zane in 2023 it was eerily different without him. And my heart would grow heavy despite all the fun times I was having. I decided that he must return there with me in 2025 regardless of circumstances. Time will not wait for us forever. We will need to take charge of it and make it happen. For 2024 has been a year of tremendous change for me and I realize the importance of not waiting to go on adventures. So we shouldn’t and I hope we won’t.

2023. Lac Dumoine.

So this summer’s trip just ended yesterday and I am preparing to write about it’s highlights. But I felt the need to regress some and reflect on the past. What better way to move forward in the now? What better way to plan for the future? Because this summer one would be missing on the trip. One would be missed greatly during the trip. One would be absent from the photos. I can’t change that now but I can attempt to change what happens next if possible. That’s the message here. Dream and hope for tomorrow. A lot can happen in one year. A lot will happen. Of that I have no doubt. And how might we live our best lives? With wise decisions and carefully laid plans? We won’t always make the best decisions. But can we live with those things we decided? We have to regardless. It is a growing process after all is said and done. And we are all in different stages of our own personal growing seasons. One thing is most certain: my son loves the wild places and yearns to go there with me still. It is enough. I have returned with my internal batteries charged from a different energy source this time in some strange fashion. They charge differently away from the Adirondacks or at the farm property. The wilds of Canada are far different then here. Different roads and trails to follow. Different trees and mountains. That is the draw of adventure. There must be one final trip to Lac Dumoine before we branch out in new directions. The Canadian bush country is vast and mostly unknown to me. I will run out of time before I can explore it all. But that is the way of exploration. And who’s to say what’s possible beyond this moment? I am considering different options presently. Ones that will break away from my past methods and timelines. The big question is will I follow that path? It’s hard to say really. I must listen closely and choose wisely. Things may yet reveal themselves to me. For now I must regroup for awhile and reflect. ✍️